Puns
I was going to invite your friends to your birthday, but they were all extinct.
What did Harry Houdini say when he did his famous vanishing act at a sushi place?
"Now sashimi, now you don't!"
What time does the man go to the bank?
8 AM.
You're overreacting.
What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile?
"Get in the Batmobile!"
Buh dum tish.
What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a bicycle and a badly dressed man on a unicycle? Attire.
What do you say when you see a pig making bread?
He's bacon.
A llama kicked me out of my house. Alpaca my bags.
Everything is made in China, except babies... They are made in Vachina.
I carried a magnet, then people found me very attracting.
I searched up hornets and then said that it will leave a sting.
Sup?
I told a seal a joke, it went like this: "Why did the kid cross the playground?" He said, "Why?" I said, "To get to the other slide." And then he said, "That's the sealiest thing I've ever heard!"
What do you call a Mongolian swindler?
A Khan artist.
Your mom, bro! XD Roasted! Lmfaoooooooooo!
The vampire was kept awake all night because of his wife's coughin' (coffin...coughin'...get it?)
You know why I don't buy Velcro items anymore?
They are a total rip off.
What happened when the teacher tied all the students' shoe laces together?
They took a class trip.
Question: What did the fish say when he ran into the wall?
Answer: Damn!
I just watched a program about beavers. It was the worst dam program I've ever seen.