Puns
Did you hear about the man who backed into a meat grinder?
I guess you could say... he was a little behind on his work.
Ur mum geiy 69 dinner 42 es dee get rekt kid 360 quikskope biatch!
I went scuba diving last year. It was fun, but at the end, I ran out of oxygen.
It was a breathtaking experience.
Sometimes, stairs get me down.
Did you hear the one about the hills?
It was hillarious.
Bill was on a hill. What a hillbilly!
A midget walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender says no.
The midget asks why. The bartender says, "You're a little drunk!"
Why isn't a koala a bear? It doesn't have the koalafications.
Why does everyone like couch jokes?
Because they are sofa-nny (so funny)!
What do you call a fat fortune teller? A four-chin teller.
You know the drill, but do you know the hammer? Hah, nailed that one.
But I also think I screwed it up.
Imagine the Russians showing up late to the 1917 revolution with a Tsarbucks in hand. They were late, so I guess they weren't Russian. They were probably Stalin.
What's a hamburger's favorite color?
Burgundy.
What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts.
What do you call nuts on the wall? Walnuts.
What do you call nuts on your chin? A blowjob.
A bowman walked into a throne room, and he bowed to him.
A boy walks into some woods with a phone, and his friend comes by and asks, "What are you doing?"
He pauses, then says, "Trying some bird calls!"
Three guys walk into a room where a man is sitting with an assortment of foods on his plate because it's lunchtime. The guys ask the man to do a favor, and he says, "Sorry guys, I have a lot on my plate!"
A boy is sitting in a dentist chair getting braces, and a dentist comes in and says, "Brace yourself!"
One time I walked into a room and I saw a man and a dwarf, and I soon found out that the man was the dwarf's father, and I noticed that the dwarf really looked up to him.
What did the cow say to the sheep?
“Moo!”
What did the sheep say to the cow?
“That was a bad joke!”