What do you call a fat fortune teller? A four-chin teller.
Puns
You know the drill, but do you know the hammer? Hah, nailed that one.
But I also think I screwed it up.
Imagine the Russians showing up late to the 1917 revolution with a Tsarbucks in hand. They were late, so I guess they weren't Russian. They were probably Stalin.
What's a hamburger's favorite color?
Burgundy.
What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts.
What do you call nuts on the wall? Walnuts.
What do you call nuts on your chin? A blowjob.
A bowman walked into a throne room, and he bowed to him.
A boy walks into some woods with a phone, and his friend comes by and asks, "What are you doing?"
He pauses, then says, "Trying some bird calls!"
Three guys walk into a room where a man is sitting with an assortment of foods on his plate because it's lunchtime. The guys ask the man to do a favor, and he says, "Sorry guys, I have a lot on my plate!"
A boy is sitting in a dentist chair getting braces, and a dentist comes in and says, "Brace yourself!"
One time I walked into a room and I saw a man and a dwarf, and I soon found out that the man was the dwarf's father, and I noticed that the dwarf really looked up to him.
What did the cow say to the sheep?
“Moo!”
What did the sheep say to the cow?
“That was a bad joke!”
I tried a pun about water, but people "sea" right through it, and when people complain, they are usually just being a beach.
I named my dog 5-Miles, so now I tell people, "I walk 5-Miles every day."
I knead bread.
Q: What did the man say after removing another man's hat? A: He was decapitated.
I told a cookie a joke the other day.
It just crumbled.
What did the squash say to the tomato?
Ketchup!
I named my horse Mayo.
Mayo neighs.
Maybe I’ll be Tracer.
I’m already Tracer!
Knock, knock. Who's there? Dishes. Dishes who? Dishes a very bad joke!
