Why did the M&M go to school?
It wanted to be a Smartie.
Puns
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?
Because he lost his filling.
How do poets say hello?
Hey, haven’t we metaphor?
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked at me surprised.
(P.S. I am not at that age plus I am as straight as a helix ruler.)
What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a present?
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?
A cat has claws at the end of paws; a comma is a pause at the end of a clause.
Where are average things manufactured?
The satisfactory!
A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar.
No joke!
Don’t fart in an Apple Store.
It has no Windows.
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg, and a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "Hey, you’ve got a steering wheel on your pants."
The pirate says, "Arrrr, I know. It’s driving me nuts."
5+2 = 7
But 4+3 also = 7
So take your own path.
Don't touch my bot.
Why don’t they play poker in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs.
What did Santa use as a candy cane?
Wait, wait, I said it wrong.
Okay.
What did Santa use to do his garden...never mind.
What's a duck's favorite drug?
Cwack.
What do you call a three-humped camel? Pregnant.
Tell someone to say "alpha" and then "kenny one". Tell them to say it very fast. Tell them it sounded like they said, "I'll fuck anyone!"
Last night I had a dream of lead, but your mom won't let me tell you.
You need to play a B flat, not a C sharp, you just got band!
Where do you go if you lost a pencil?
Office Works! They have solved loads of pencil cases.
