Puns
What do you call your mom when she goes into the shower?
A shower ma! (shawarma)
What do you call a fish with a temper?
Undyne.
What did the tree say to the Lumberjack? Leaf me alone!
A man walks into a bar with a slab of concrete under his arm and says, "A beer please! and one for the road!"
I would tell you a joke about a slice of pizza, but it's really... cheesy. I donut think you will come up with a better pun than this.
What’s a bird’s favorite movie?
The Parrots of the Caribbean.
I got a new job at a trampoline park the other day. If I’m being honest, it’s got its ups and downs.
A bat mitzvah for sheep is a baaaaaat mitzvah!
In our history class we were on our China unit and learning a little about gunpowder.
And I said "WOAH THAT'S LIT!"
The bakery I worked at got robbed. They demanded the dough; apparently, it couldn't be baked first.
What do you call a bear with no ears? A b.
Yeah, that joke was unbearable.
Trust your calculator. It's something to count on.
Why was the computer so good at golf? Because he had a hard drive.
Jimmy asks an elevator operator what he thinks of his job.
The operator shrugs and says, "It has its ups and downs!"
I drove past Wendy’s the other day. No other stores were open, so I asked, “Wendy’s openin’ then?”
What do you call a hill with cows on it?
A Moo-ntain.
Why didn’t the bike stand on its own?
It was too tired.
Some babies may be delivered via stork, but some bigger babies are gonna need a crane.
Did you hear about the man that got fired from his can job? It was soda-pressing.
Why was the Chinese laundry joke not funny? It had no irony.