Puns

Yesterday I made food using oil--olive oil.

(I love oil!)

What did the pencil say to the other pencil?

Your looking sharp!

Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don’t work.

A blond and her brunette friend were chatting about their boyfriends; the brunette goes on and on about how dirty her boyfriend is with her.

To not be outdone, the blond retorts:

"That's nothing! Once we were in the kitchen, I can't believe I didn't see it coming. One minute I turned, and he just got it all on my face! It was so thick and hard! It covered my mouth, my nose, my shoulders, and eyes. It even got in my hair, and when I looked up at him, all he could say was, 'Whoops! The flower went everywhere!'"

Why would you never donate to crabs?

Because they're shellfish!

Eagle: "You know why hunting me would be a bad idea?

Because it is ILL-EAGLE!"

I quit my job at the bank today. I lost interest.

Have you heard of bees? They're bee-utiful!

How do you get Dick from Richard?

You ask nicely.

What did the substrate say to the active site?

"C'mon baby, we fit together, open my door lock to f**kin' key."

I thought my wife was joking when she said she was gonna leave me because I wouldn’t stop singing “I'm a believer,” but then I saw her face.

It's punny.

What did the butcher say to the pig?

Nice to meat you.

I always look at the earth and think, "Ahh, this is TREE-ific!"

What happens when you suck?

You succ.

Why do bees have sticky hair? They always use honeycombs.

I was watching T-Series and I thought to myself, "Man, this sucks!" My sister watches James Charles, and he always says, "That's T-Series." So is it him? SUB TO PEWDIEPIE! UNSUB TO T-SERIES! THEY SUCK!