Puns
Two whales went to a bar.
The first whale said, "oooooooohhhhhh." The second whale said, "Greg, I think you're drunk, let's go home."
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
He doesn't know where home is.
What did the cat say when he was stuck on a thorn-bush?
"Meow!"
Hey, Hunger Games... I'm full!!
This ain't your mama's monologue.
Director: Hi, we are making a huge cliffhanger in this movie.
Actor: Really? What do I do?
Director: You will play the part of the cliff. (holds up hanging rope)
How do clarinet players play a song?
They reed their music.
The crocodile just kept saying, "No!" He was in Da Nile!
Did you hear about the 100 centimeter girl?
I’d really like to meter.
I don't know what to say.
I'd make a farming joke, but I'm just a little less than corny enough.
What did the suicidal leprechaun say?
"Irish I was dead."
Did you hear about that cheese factory that exploded in France?
There was nothing left but de Brie!
Do you want to hear a money joke? "Never mind, it makes no cents."
You're probably getting tired of these gravity jokes... but I keep falling for them every time.
Why was the new gamer mad when they were playing Overwatch?
Because gamer girl WAS ALREADY TRACER.
What was a pedophile's hardest thing? Fitting in!
Meow meow meow meow :p
My kitchen was rearranged today. The tables have turned, and the steaks are higher.
Why is the most popular food at a baseball stadium pancakes? Because everybody likes a good batter!
Ever had a migraine? Yeah, sorry that’s my fault. Couple years ago, all my grains got loose.