Puns
My friend wasn't laughing at my jokes, so I said, "Is your funny bone broken?" But he got mad, and then I said, "Do you have a bone to pick with me?" He tried to insult me, but I said, "Call me what you want, I got thick skin," and this story was down to the bone.
All trucks are monster trucks if you’re afraid of trucks.
My car fell in a ditch today. Didn't want any more cars falling, so I put a car-pet over it.
You big gay.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?
Because he was sans and too lazy to get his butt off the couch.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Shhhhhhhhhh.
Shhhhhhhhhh who?
Shhhhhhhhhhampoo!
What did the policeman say to his belly button?
You're under a vest!
Why did the teddy bear decide not to eat the turkey?
Because he was too stuffed.
Why do you never play a game of cards in the jungle? Because there are cheetahs!
If a kid refused to go to bed, does that make them guilty of resisting a rest?
What do you call a mountain of kittens?
A meowtain.
I asked my friend if they wanted to hear a joke about sodium, and they said, "Na."
What did the fish say to the other fish?
"I want my life to be H2O-ver!"
My brother can't wait for spring... he wet his plants!
I sat down to eat some ice cream. The next moment, I screamed!
Why did the chili blush?
Because it was so hot!
I left a chunk of ice outside during summer. That was the first time I heard icescream.
What did the ferret say after his family was questioned by police?
It's none of your business!
On which side does the chicken have the most feathers?
On the outer side. 😂😂
Types "I'm not a robot" on computer.
Son, we are geniuses!