Puns
So I went to the gym and I found a hymn.
What do you call a bunch of llamas?
Alpaca llama.
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My friend broke his tie. That's a tie breaker.
My jacket tore a little bit. It's a ripper.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese. Okay, I can't do this anymore.
What's a bull's favorite body part?
An eye-BULL!
Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory?
Many soles were lost.
I was going to tell you a joke about a pencil, but now it is pointless.
One day, there was an ugly barnacle. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end!
What is Forrest Gump's password?
1forest1
A clown held a door open for me. I thought it was a nice jester.
I never wanted to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.
But when I got home, all the signs were there.
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frostbite.
"Trump is Putin, America first!" hahaha
I can't believe I got fired at the calendar factory. I mean... all I did was take a day off!
My wife still misses me...
But her aim is getting better!
Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?
Because he got hit by a bus!
I want a job cleaning mirrors. I could really see myself doing it!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Hair.
Hair who?
Hairhairhairhairhairhair!