Q: What is the opposite of 'Dominos'?
A: Domi doesn't know!
Puns
Why can't you buy an iPhone X?
It's too expensive.
My friend had a house FULL of okra, but it blew up and okra was everywhere.
I guess you can call that place Okra-homa!
Don't touch my pickles - they are very picklish.
Person 1 says to Person 2: "I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith."
So Person 2 says to Person 1: "What's the name of his other leg?"
I met a drum circle once, they were a huge hit!
My friend told me I should be a stand up comedian but... I prefer sitting.
What did the stepdad say to the flower? You're grounded!
What do you call a laughing motorcycle?
A Yamahahahaha!
Have you ever been to the ocean? Well, the smokers out there probably only seaweed!
My friend wasn't laughing at my jokes, so I said, "Is your funny bone broken?" But he got mad, and then I said, "Do you have a bone to pick with me?" He tried to insult me, but I said, "Call me what you want, I got thick skin," and this story was down to the bone.
All trucks are monster trucks if you’re afraid of trucks.
My car fell in a ditch today. Didn't want any more cars falling, so I put a car-pet over it.
You big gay.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?
Because he was sans and too lazy to get his butt off the couch.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Shhhhhhhhhh.
Shhhhhhhhhh who?
Shhhhhhhhhhampoo!
What did the policeman say to his belly button?
You're under a vest!
Why did the teddy bear decide not to eat the turkey?
Because he was too stuffed.
Why do you never play a game of cards in the jungle? Because there are cheetahs!
If a kid refused to go to bed, does that make them guilty of resisting a rest?
