I live in a world made of cheese. Someone stubbed their toe and screamed, "Cheese-its, Christ!"
Puns
Two rabbits were racing. Neither could get ahead, so they ended in a hare-tie!
I worked at a calendar factory, but I got the sack for taking a few days off!
What do you call a spice with a PHD?
Dr. Pepper
Which bees produce milk?
Boobies.
He: I'm Nike, and you're McDonalds.
She: Why?
He: 'Cause I'm doing it, and you're loving it. :)
How do you plan a party in space? You have to planet.
My brother and I were roughhousing and accidentally knocked over our bookshelf. My mom came in and started asking who knocked it over, to which I replied that I only had my shelf to blame.
Hey, can I axe you a question?
My brother likes to build "traps" to capture our cat so he can pet it. I said it wasn't gonna catch anyone, he replied with "not going to stop who?" I told him not to worry that it could capture any two.
Yesnt.
According to all known laws of aviation,
there is no way a bee should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway
because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.
Barry! Breakfast is ready!
Coming!
Hang on a second.
Hello?
- Barry? - Adam?
- Can you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up.
Looking sharp.
Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those.
Sorry. I'm excited.
Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son.
A perfect report card, all B's.
Very proud.
Ma! I got a thing going here.
- You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me!
- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye!
Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!
So I went to the gym and I found a hymn.
What do you call a bunch of llamas?
Alpaca llama.
Fortnite Android Beta
My friend broke his tie. That's a tie breaker.
My jacket tore a little bit. It's a ripper.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese. Okay, I can't do this anymore.
What's a bull's favorite body part?
An eye-BULL!
Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory?
Many soles were lost.
I was going to tell you a joke about a pencil, but now it is pointless.
One day, there was an ugly barnacle. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end!
