Puns

I have a really good joke.

Do you want to hear it?

Oh wait, this is a bad joke website.

I have a joke about construction.

I'm still working on it.

What did the math acorn say when it grew up?

"Gee-I'm-a-tree."

I smell up dog in here.

"What's up, dog?"

Nothing much, how about you?

I called my dog 5 miles.

Today, I fawn over my miles.

There was a news story the other day where a magician disappeared. He was like "At the count of 3 I will disappear aight...Uno, Dos," and he disappeared without a trace.

Why can't dinosaurs talk?

'Cause they're dead.

Why did the toilet paper cross the road?

It was on a roll.

My friend told me she had a good joke and it beat all mine. I said, "Haha, that is funny!"

Are you peeling well?

I just busted a nut. A ginger nut.

I wanna tell you guys a joke about a broken pencil...

But it’s quite pointless.

Why do people laugh at mountains?

Because they're HILLarious!

What do you call a field of masturbating cattle?

Beef strokin' off.

I asked a French man if he played videogames, and he said, "Wii!"

What did the cow call its own life? An udder mistake.

I was gonna tell you a great pun, but it's too cheesy.

Wanted to get the scoop on history of ice cream, so I went to Sunday school.

Do you know Warrior Cats?

I heard Hawkfrost is cold.

A policeman just knocked on my door and told me my dogs are chasing people on bikes. That’s ridiculous! My dogs don’t even own bikes!