What did the math acorn say when it grew up?
"Gee-I'm-a-tree."
Puns
I smell up dog in here.
"What's up, dog?"
Nothing much, how about you?
I called my dog 5 miles.
Today, I fawn over my miles.
There was a news story the other day where a magician disappeared. He was like "At the count of 3 I will disappear aight...Uno, Dos," and he disappeared without a trace.
Why can't dinosaurs talk?
'Cause they're dead.
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
It was on a roll.
My friend told me she had a good joke and it beat all mine. I said, "Haha, that is funny!"
Are you peeling well?
I just busted a nut. A ginger nut.
I wanna tell you guys a joke about a broken pencil...
But it’s quite pointless.
Why do people laugh at mountains?
Because they're HILLarious!
What do you call a field of masturbating cattle?
Beef strokin' off.
I asked a French man if he played videogames, and he said, "Wii!"
What did the cow call its own life? An udder mistake.
I was gonna tell you a great pun, but it's too cheesy.
Wanted to get the scoop on history of ice cream, so I went to Sunday school.
Do you know Warrior Cats?
I heard Hawkfrost is cold.
A policeman just knocked on my door and told me my dogs are chasing people on bikes. That’s ridiculous! My dogs don’t even own bikes!
Wood-fired pizza.
How would pizza get a job now?
A guy saw a person with a duck and said, "Where did you get a pig?"
The owner replied, "It's not a pig, dummy!"
The random guy said, "I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to the duck."
