Puns
I was gonna tell you a great pun, but it's too cheesy.
Wanted to get the scoop on history of ice cream, so I went to Sunday school.
Do you know Warrior Cats?
I heard Hawkfrost is cold.
A policeman just knocked on my door and told me my dogs are chasing people on bikes. That’s ridiculous! My dogs don’t even own bikes!
Wood-fired pizza.
How would pizza get a job now?
A guy saw a person with a duck and said, "Where did you get a pig?"
The owner replied, "It's not a pig, dummy!"
The random guy said, "I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to the duck."
If I look after chickens, does that make me a chicken tender?
Hey, you know those birds and lizards that feast on decaying flesh?
Oh, sorry, I shouldn't carrion about it.
What do you call a dinosaur that likes subtraction?
A galiminus.
Why did piglet go to the bathroom?
To search for Poo.
Why doesn't my egg want to crack?
Because I hate my egg-sistence.
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A dog talks to another dog and says,
"Wow, you're a hot dog!"
"Time"? More like waiting.
What side of the sidewalk do crazy people walk on? The psych-o-path.
What do you call a short person that goes to school?
A Sammie.
What do you call a stick with a string on the end of it?
A fishing pole.
Bob: Kanye West.
Dad: No, but I can East.
I've never worn my gay sweater, it hasn't come out of the closet yet.
Scree.