Puns
I didn’t know what a class clown was till I went to a class and realized I was a class clown in kindergarten, and then I woke up from a nightmare.
A homey thing is a house, and a sticky thing is a stick.
If people who live in Canada are Canadians, I mean if they drink Fanta, they’re fantastic.
My fish puns aren't on porpoise.
My cat is red and brown and her bones are crunchy, so does that mean she is a Kit Kat?
All real chemists know that alcohol is always a solution.
I did this chemistry joke yesterday, but I didn't get a reaction.
What did the salad dressing say to the tomato?
"Don't look! I'm dressing!"
Armless child: Can you give me a hand??
Me: Ok.
Why can't the toilet paper be cheeky?
It's between cheeks at the moment.
What card is the slowest and slimiest?
Ace-nail.
A dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
I tried to play with rock, but it was hard.
Why isn't the athlete in the full bus? Because she is trying to fit in.
Why do athletes cool down fast? Because they have fans.
Wash your hands.
I refuse to believe my dad got fired as a road worker for theft. But when I came home, there were signs everywhere.
Jokes are rather funny.
What do you say when you wake up to the police trying to arrest you?
“C'mon, did ya really think I’d resist arrest?”
What road goes all the way to the sky? A highway.
I knew a guy who used to sell wrenches. He was all torque.
So, there was this cop on the top bunk of a bunk bed.
Another cop walks in and sits on the bottom bunk and the cop on the top bunk bed said, "You're under a-rest."