Puns

My wife said I acted like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down.

Hello

Wanna see something dark

close your eyes

What has 10 wheels & flies? A Garbage truck.

My bro said food was cool. So I threw a piece of cool chicken at him. For some reason he hit me, OOF.

submit a joke :-) ur love life

A missionary was caught by cannibals. He was tied up and thrown into a big pot. The cannibals were chopping up vegetables and throwing them into the pot with the missionary. When they lit the fire under the pot, the missionary said, "You can't stew me. I'm a friar."

Why was the man running around his bed?

Because he needed to catch up on his sleep!

What is the slipperiest county?

Greece!!

What does Mickey's wife drive?

A Minnie-Van!!

Teacher: "Stand up, class!"

She is sitting down.

Teacher: "Whoever stands up is stupid!"

Samuel liked Batman when he was a kid.

He still is a kid.

Are we supposed to submit jokes?

This website.

Also how did trumps wall let this website in??????

I have a really good joke.

Do u want to hear it?

Oh wait this is a bad joke website.

I have a joke about construction.

I'm still working on it.

What did the math acorn say when it grew up?

Gee-I'm-a-tree.

I smell up dog in here.

"What's up dog?"

Nothin much, how bout you?

I called my dog 5 miles. Today, I fan over my miles.

There was a news the other where a magician disappeared. He was like"at the count of 3 I will disappear aight...Uno, Des,and he disappeared without a trace.