Puns

Some man was walking too slow, so I told him to Mufasa.

Did you know that towels are the leading cause of dry skin?

All these sea monster jokes are just kraken me up.

Where was Moses when the lights went out? - In the dark!

I despise lumberjacks. They are always barking up the wrong tree, all bark and no bite.

They just need to leaf people alone or stick with something nicer.

Are you a lightbulb, cuz you brighten up my day?

I know it sounds cheesy, but I feel grate!

I’m reading a book about Anti-Gravity. It’s impossible to put down!

How do you make a tissue dance?

You put a little boogie in it.

My grandma always loved to craft clothing. She dyed last week.

I accidentally drank a little food coloring last night. I ended up dying inside.

We went running on our camping trip. It was past tents.

Dark humor is like food: Not everybody gets it.

My dog was hungry, so I let him loose outside while I filled his bowl.

I found out later that he was run over by a truck. It seemed to really hit the Spot.

There was a guy who got his entire left side cut off. Don’t worry, he is all right now.

Someone asked me, "How would you like your steak cooked?"

I said, "On a stove!"

What did the melon say to the avocado when he proposed?

Can't elope.

Why did the chef cook his eggs on the golf course? Because he wanted them par-boiled!

Dad: 🦆

Kid: ?

Dad: 🦆🦆

Kid: Huh?

Dad: Ur too late...

Kid: WHAT!

Dad: .... GOOSE!

Do you know where time is? Because it keeps flying by.