Puns

Where was Moses when the lights went out? - In the dark!

I despise lumberjacks. They are always barking up the wrong tree, all bark and no bite.

They just need to leaf people alone or stick with something nicer.

Are you a lightbulb, cuz you brighten up my day?

I know it sounds cheesy, but I feel grate!

I’m reading a book about Anti-Gravity. It’s impossible to put down!

How do you make a tissue dance?

You put a little boogie in it.

My grandma always loved to craft clothing. She dyed last week.

I accidentally drank a little food coloring last night. I ended up dying inside.

We went running on our camping trip. It was past tents.

Dark humor is like food: Not everybody gets it.

My dog was hungry, so I let him loose outside while I filled his bowl.

I found out later that he was run over by a truck. It seemed to really hit the Spot.

There was a guy who got his entire left side cut off. Don’t worry, he is all right now.

Someone asked me, "How would you like your steak cooked?"

I said, "On a stove!"

What did the melon say to the avocado when he proposed?

Can't elope.

Why did the chef cook his eggs on the golf course? Because he wanted them par-boiled!

Dad: 🦆

Kid: ?

Dad: 🦆🦆

Kid: Huh?

Dad: Ur too late...

Kid: WHAT!

Dad: .... GOOSE!

Do you know where time is? Because it keeps flying by.

Tell your teacher this: "I passed a test that took 60 minutes. It wasn't your work, it wasn't my work, it was hour work!"

If you’re waiting for the waiter at a restaurant, aren’t you the waiter?

An astronomer walked up to me and I was like, "Give me some space..."

Are you getting the funnies?