Puns
Make like a drum and beat it!
Why was the staircase so sad?
Because everyone walks on them.
I have a trombone.
I impaled my son with a pitchfork...
He looks very sharp.
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt-quack.
What's a delinquent mitten's favorite sport?
Badminton.
Sans: Wow, seems you’re really working yourself... down to the bone!
My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana. The steaks have never been so high...
So, apparently, Hitler's dad was quite the abusive fellow, always beating his son.
Guess that's why he's called (Hit)ler.
I met a really greedy oyster. It was quite shellfish.
Why did Iran, ran?
Iran said, "I ran away!"
What did the Arch bridge say to the Truss bridge?
"I Truss-ted you!"
My Llama's cousin sucks at going on vacation.
He just stands there; "I'll pack uhhhh...."
What do you call it when a watch has too many belts?
A waist of your time.
I almost secretly married a watermelon, but I cantaloupe.
Did you hear about the guy who got electrocuted?
It was quite a shocker.
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
Poker Face.
What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just WAVED. Can you SEA what I did there? I'm SHORE you did. Why are you so SALTY? Don't be a BEACH.
Mooning is very astrological!
What do you call someone who takes care of chickens?
A chicken tender.