Puns
As he threw the mechanical pencil toward me, I knew that if I didn't move, I would be lead into serious trouble.
Happiness.
Mayonnaise marry me?
The Breakfast Couples: (Bacon) - Don't go bacon my heart.
(Egg) - I couldn't if I fried.
That was a horrible pun. You should be sent to the PUN-itentiary!
We have been cursed by curse-ive.
Face-Timing My Girlfriend:
"Hey girl! Are you a veterinarian? Because these puppies are sick!" *shows muscle*
A woman wakes up in a hospital after an accident and yells, "Doctor, Doctor, I can't feel my legs!"
And the doctor says, "I know, I amputated your arms."
I’d tell a sodium and hydrogen pun, but NaH.
How did the carpenter do on his interview? He nailed it!
What does a pirate say to his girlfriend?
I want your booty!
— Wanna hear a joke about ghosts?
— No.
— That's the spirit!
What’s your favorite type of wood? Mine is Bollywood.
Hey, look, it's Bai! (insert the picture of a Bai drink)
What did the explorer say when he got tired?
I'm gonna take a map.
When this guy fell off a cliff, he got an A+ for egg-cellence!
What happened to the egg after it went on the rollercoaster?
It was scrambled.
What do you call a bad "egg" meme?
Deep fried!
What do you need in order to crash a train?
A bad track record.
My brother once froze a dollar in a block of ice. I called it "cold hard cash."