Puns

This website!

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lick-a-lot-of-puss!

What's the difference between a fish and a car?

You can tune a car... but you can't TUNA fish! x3

What do you call a squirrel with wings? A flying squirrel, it's pretty self-explanatory.

Make like a drum and beat it!

Why was the staircase so sad?

Because everyone walks on them.

I have a trombone.

I impaled my son with a pitchfork...

He looks very sharp.

Why do ducks have feathers?

To cover their butt-quack.

What's a delinquent mitten's favorite sport?

Badminton.

Sans: Wow, seems you’re really working yourself... down to the bone!

My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana. The steaks have never been so high...

So, apparently, Hitler's dad was quite the abusive fellow, always beating his son.

Guess that's why he's called (Hit)ler.

I met a really greedy oyster. It was quite shellfish.

Why did Iran, ran?

Iran said, "I ran away!"

What did the Arch bridge say to the Truss bridge?

"I Truss-ted you!"

My Llama's cousin sucks at going on vacation.

He just stands there; "I'll pack uhhhh...."

What do you call it when a watch has too many belts?

A waist of your time.

I almost secretly married a watermelon, but I cantaloupe.

Did you hear about the guy who got electrocuted?

It was quite a shocker.