Puns
What did Goodlife Fitness say to LA Fitness? "I guess it's just not 'working out'!"
What did the chocolate dentist say to the other chocolate dentist? Did you "chip" a tooth?
What is a doll's favorite dog? A doll-matian.
Knock knock. Who's there? Ieatmop. I eat mop who? Eww, you eat your poo?
What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A nectarine.
By the way, could you tell me an elevator pun? I can't seem to "come up" with one myself.
I fell from the stairs the other day. It really "got me down."
Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
Tiresome is the quantification of tire.
So you know how sheets are always so tight at hotels?
Well I looked under the bed and there is a freaking room cleaner holding the sheets. All he says is "Don't ask or you shall die!"
Math puns are the first SINE of madness! Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Why do basketball players like cookies? Because they can dunk them!
As a hobby, I started taking walks around the old clock tower.
It's a great way to pass the time.
I don’t have enough money to buy cheese, could you provolone me some money?
Two's company, cheese a crowd!
Josh: Tell me something funny.
Mark: My life.
What did one hurricane say to the other?
"I got my EYE on you!"
Why does Peter Pan always fly? Because he Neverlands.
I have many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work.
My friend had no school because of heavy snow.
Guess you could say it was a snow school day!