Puns

What did one statue say to another statue? "Hey! Is that you?"

How does the Eskimo make a house of cards?

Igloos it.

What do you call a smart egg? An egghead.

That was an egg-cellent joke!

Asshole.

I was going to walk to Verizon, but I decided to Sprint over to T-Mobile instead.

You know bins????

They're trash!

So, the sea is on a computer but doesn't know how to search, so the computer said to the sea, "Search!"

Do you get it? SEArch.

I dreamed I was forced to eat a giant marshmallow, but when I woke up, my pillow was gone!

Hot shingles in your neighborhood wanting to get nailed.

The irony of metal jokes is pretty fun. But it leads to a lot of people stealing them.

Robin: "The car's not working."

Batman: "Did you check the battery?"

Robin: "What's a tery?"

Roses are red, violets are violet.

I have a skeleTON of jokes, but none of them are very humorous.

what did the banana say to the banana?

"u look a-pealing"

Chimmy: (smoking because of fireplace)

Chimmy2: You're too young to smoke.

Murder: Wanna play a game?

Me: Ok (pulls out Xbox controller)

Someone asked me where to find de wae?

I replied with: Oh, de wea, that's a shop. It's down the road.

I would tell you a chemistry pun, but I won't get a reaction.

The lunch lady gave me only one carrot. I didn't carrot all.

What’s the difference between a snowman and a snow woman?

Snow balls.