Puns

Hot shingles in your neighborhood wanting to get nailed.

The irony of metal jokes is pretty fun. But it leads to a lot of people stealing them.

Robin: "The car's not working."

Batman: "Did you check the battery?"

Robin: "What's a tery?"

Roses are red, violets are violet.

I have a skeleTON of jokes, but none of them are very humorous.

what did the banana say to the banana?

"u look a-pealing"

Chimmy: (smoking because of fireplace)

Chimmy2: You're too young to smoke.

Murder: Wanna play a game?

Me: Ok (pulls out Xbox controller)

Someone asked me where to find de wae?

I replied with: Oh, de wea, that's a shop. It's down the road.

I would tell you a chemistry pun, but I won't get a reaction.

The lunch lady gave me only one carrot. I didn't carrot all.

What’s the difference between a snowman and a snow woman?

Snow balls.

Can we have a party in space?

First, we need to planet ;)

Get it? "Plan it" = planet.

Where do pencils go on holiday?

Pencilvania! (Pennsylvania)

What did Saturday say on the day before Friday?

I’m thursty (Thursday).

Yesterday, a clown held the door open for me. It was such a nice jester!

What did one bear reply to his bad pun?

"Bear with me!"

"Knock knock?"

"Mustache."

"I mustache you a question, but I'll shave it for later!"

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

A: Because chickens are mindless creatures and do not know any better.

You are American when you walk into the bathroom, and you are American when you walk out.

But do you know what you are when you're in the bathroom? European.