Puns

Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.

That camping trip was in-tents.

My boyfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. What a stupid thing to Fallout 4.

Did you hear about the needle and thread shop?

Never mind, it was needle-ess.

Why do seagulls fly over the sea and not the bay?

Because then they would be called bagels! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Friend 1: I HATE YOU!

Friend 2: *cries* b-but i-i didn't s-say that!!

Friend 3: *writes on paper with pencil cuz is so bored*

Me: *points at pencil lead* NOW NOW NOW THIS HAS *LEAD* TO SOME SERIOUS FRIENDSHIP LOSS! Plz shut up.

All my friends: *groan at horrible pun*

They say nothing is impossible, but I've been doing nothing all day.

Dr. Dre caught his friend Snoop Dogg looking in other people's drawers. Dre then said, "Don't Snoop around."

Have you heard the gossip about the butter? Oh, I guess I better not spread it.

There's a movie about constipation. It hasn't come out yet.

My friend made a joke about a dog. I said it was a "RUFF" joke.

What do you call a duck on drugs?

A quackhead.

Have you seen the movie "Constipation"?

It hasn't come out yet.

Why was the blunt pencil bad at making speeches? It never had a point.

Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.

I can tell you an airplane joke, but it will probably fly over your head.

Once, I ate a skunk. It was hard because I didn't get it down the whole way.

What do you call a bunch of Aboriginals rolling down a hill?

Abo-lanche.

Which brand of underwear does Thor wear?

Asgard.

What did one statue say to another statue? "Hey! Is that you?"