Puns

Dr. Dre caught his friend Snoop Dogg looking in other people's drawers. Dre then said, "Don't Snoop around."

Have you heard the gossip about the butter? Oh, I guess I better not spread it.

There's a movie about constipation. It hasn't come out yet.

My friend made a joke about a dog. I said it was a "RUFF" joke.

What do you call a duck on drugs?

A quackhead.

Have you seen the movie "Constipation"?

It hasn't come out yet.

Why was the blunt pencil bad at making speeches? It never had a point.

Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.

I can tell you an airplane joke, but it will probably fly over your head.

Once, I ate a skunk. It was hard because I didn't get it down the whole way.

What do you call a bunch of Aboriginals rolling down a hill?

Abo-lanche.

Which brand of underwear does Thor wear?

Asgard.

What did one statue say to another statue? "Hey! Is that you?"

How does the Eskimo make a house of cards?

Igloos it.

What do you call a smart egg? An egghead.

That was an egg-cellent joke!

Asshole.

I was going to walk to Verizon, but I decided to Sprint over to T-Mobile instead.

You know bins????

They're trash!

So, the sea is on a computer but doesn't know how to search, so the computer said to the sea, "Search!"

Do you get it? SEArch.

I dreamed I was forced to eat a giant marshmallow, but when I woke up, my pillow was gone!