Puns

Why do seagulls fly over the sea and not the bay?

Because then they would be called bagels! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Friend 1: I HATE YOU!

Friend 2: *cries* b-but i-i didn't s-say that!!

Friend 3: *writes on paper with pencil cuz is so bored*

Me: *points at pencil lead* NOW NOW NOW THIS HAS *LEAD* TO SOME SERIOUS FRIENDSHIP LOSS! Plz shut up.

All my friends: *groan at horrible pun*

They say nothing is impossible, but I've been doing nothing all day.

Dr. Dre caught his friend Snoop Dogg looking in other people's drawers. Dre then said, "Don't Snoop around."

Have you heard the gossip about the butter? Oh, I guess I better not spread it.

There's a movie about constipation. It hasn't come out yet.

My friend made a joke about a dog. I said it was a "RUFF" joke.

What do you call a duck on drugs?

A quackhead.

Have you seen the movie "Constipation"?

It hasn't come out yet.

Why was the blunt pencil bad at making speeches? It never had a point.

Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.

I can tell you an airplane joke, but it will probably fly over your head.

Once, I ate a skunk. It was hard because I didn't get it down the whole way.

What do you call a bunch of Aboriginals rolling down a hill?

Abo-lanche.

Which brand of underwear does Thor wear?

Asgard.

What did one statue say to another statue? "Hey! Is that you?"

How does the Eskimo make a house of cards?

Igloos it.

What do you call a smart egg? An egghead.

That was an egg-cellent joke!

Asshole.

I was going to walk to Verizon, but I decided to Sprint over to T-Mobile instead.