Puns
If you were on the Titanic and you didn't leave the ship, what would you do? Just let that sink in.
I had the best butterfingers yesterday.
I dropped it.
I was about to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
Why did the man yell at the other? To tell a pun.
What is Bill Gates’ favorite equation?
1 + 1 =
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
What do you call a Mexican in the zombie apocalypse?
Answer: "Sweet and spicy chicken."
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Knock, knock." "Knock, knock who?" "Can you let me in now?"
I was going to write a corny joke, but those are a bit too EAR-itating.
Is your fridge running?
Why yes, it is!
Then you better go catch it!
Why don't Jedis make puns that often?
They usually have to force them. (I hate myself for that!)
Why is 6 scared of 7? 7 8 9.
Seven ate nine.
I would make a joke about your sister, but she banged me.
How does Hitler tie his shoes?
Into little Nazis.
How many people do you think are in a graveyard? Hopefully none.
What do you call it when you get away with masturbating in the shower?
You got off clean.
Why do toy bears have small eyes? Because they were made in China.
Did you hear the rumors about butter?
Never mind—you shouldn't spread them.
I went to the shops yesterday. I bought roast chicken, eggs, and duck. The cashier read $45.99. It was an egg-cellent price!
A police officer said to a belly button, "You're under a-vest."