Puns
I tried a pun about water, but people "sea" right through it, and when people complain, they are usually just being a beach.
I named my dog 5-Miles, so now I tell people, "I walk 5-Miles every day."
I knead bread.
Q: What did the man say after removing another man's hat? A: He was decapitated.
I told a cookie a joke the other day.
It just crumbled.
What did the squash say to the tomato?
Ketchup!
I named my horse Mayo.
Mayo neighs.
Maybe I’ll be Tracer.
I’m already Tracer!
Knock, knock. Who's there? Dishes. Dishes who? Dishes a very bad joke!
What dinosaur loves music?
The velociRAPtor!
My puns are awesome, pure gold.
Why did the man die of the actor's performance?
The performance was unbeLIVEable!
Never trust a donkey; they are always full of shit.
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it wanted to be Argon.
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it had its ion someone else.
My friend tried to sleep on napkins.
I guess that's why they're called NAP-kins.
What do you call cringe?
You.
sans *a'm i pune*
*piris* no.
Why are mice bad singers?
They are very cheesy.
Why did Bob go to the store? To bob for apples.