Punishment jokes
Oh, sh**! I'm late for my interview! Do you know where the nearest sex offender registry is?
Santa decided coal was too expensive, so he started putting shredded lettuce and mayo in naughty kid's lockers... he calls it the coal's law.
Me going to jail for telling the orphan he has 363 days because mothers and Father’s Day.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
I have a huge thought: if Satan punishes people who are bad, doesn't that make him good?
What is one good thing about pedophiles?
They drive slow in the school zone.
What happens when a battery commits a crime? They get charged!
A kid named Timmy said to his dad that he had sex with his teacher, and his dad was proud of him and gave him a bike.
The kid said, "I can't use it; my butt hurts!"
I got detention for giving an emo kid a glow stick... I tried to lighten his spirit.
Did you hear about the two thieves who stole a calendar? They each got six months.
What do you call a person on fire in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels!
God sent a kid to the principal's office for giving a blind kid sunglasses and said, "Don't let the sun damage your eyes!"
What do you get if you cross a gorilla and a prisoner? A kong-vict.
Why do homeless people commit crimes?
They get a bed in jail.
Or is she asking her son, "Do you know Newton?"
The boy said, "No, I don't know."
She said to him, "If you had paid attention to your lessons, you would have known him!"
The boy said, "Ok, do you know Ikhlod?"
She said to him, "No, who is she?"
He said to her, "If you had paid attention to your husband, you would have known her."
The important thing is that the boy is currently a week with his uncles and a week with his turbans.
Principal: “Why did you have to skip class? Because of that detention!”
Kid: “Whatever!”
Principal: “Why did you have to swear? Because of that one demerit!”
Kid: “Doesn't matter!”
Principal: “Why did you yell at a teacher and throw a chair at them? Because of that you're suspended!”
Kid: “Oh well!”
Principal: “Why did you have to push a kid down the stairs and kill them? Because of that you're expelled!”
Kid: “I'm trying not to kill myself!”
I say 1, 2, 3, all the kids bullied me, but now they're not so cool, cuz I shot up the school.
Somebody stole my joke.
So I stole their spinal cord.
"Suicide is a murder, and my body should go to jail."
Why is Jeffrey Epstein so bad at races?
Because he comes in a little behind.