What happens when a battery commits a crime? They get charged!
Did you hear about the two thieves who stole a calendar? They each got six months.
What do you call a person on fire in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels!
What do you get if you cross a gorilla and a prisoner? A kong-vict.
What is one good thing about pedophiles?
They drive slow in the school zone.
Santa decided coal was too expensive, so he started putting shredded lettuce and mayo in naughty kid's lockers... he calls it the coal's law.
Me going to jail for telling the orphan he has 363 days because mothers and Father’s Day.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
I have a huge thought: if Satan punishes people who are bad, doesn't that make him good?
Or is she asking her son, "Do you know Newton?"
The boy said, "No, I don't know."
She said to him, "If you had paid attention to your lessons, you would have known him!"
The boy said, "Ok, do you know Ikhlod?"
She said to him, "No, who is she?"
He said to her, "If you had paid attention to your husband, you would have known her."
The important thing is that the boy is currently a week with his uncles and a week with his turbans.
Principal: “Why did you have to skip class? Because of that detention!”
Kid: “Whatever!”
Principal: “Why did you have to swear? Because of that one demerit!”
Kid: “Doesn't matter!”
Principal: “Why did you yell at a teacher and throw a chair at them? Because of that you're suspended!”
Kid: “Oh well!”
Principal: “Why did you have to push a kid down the stairs and kill them? Because of that you're expelled!”
Kid: “I'm trying not to kill myself!”
Why don't you see black people with Down syndrome?
Because God doesn't punish someone twice.
I say 1, 2, 3, all the kids bullied me, but now they're not so cool, cuz I shot up the school.
"Suicide is a murder, and my body should go to jail."
How do they execute paraplegics?
With the electric wheelchair.
I just got a job at the prison library.
It has its prose and cons.
The devil's number is 346 because you will be in jail.
Who's a pineapple? I'm a pineapple... Yass.
Teacher and kid.
Kid: Hey, teacher.
Teacher: Yes?
Kid: Would you punish me for something I didn't do?
Teacher: Of course not.
Kid: Well, I didn't do my homework!
Some kids at school made fun of me for playing Halo, so I gave them a halo.
What do you call someone who used to kill people? An ex-executioner.
