Punishment jokes

Why do orphans start fights?

Because they don't get in trouble at home.

You hear about Rapboats' time in prison? He kept droppin' the soap on purpose.

DARK ALERT********

A girl went to the doctor. The doctor said she had one year to live. She shot the doctor, and the judge gave her 15 years.

DARK ALERT********

When prostitutes misbehave, do their pimps make them stand out on the corner with a "For Rent" sign on their crotch?

What do you call someone who used to kill people? An ex-executioner.

I'd hit you, but I don't want to go to jail for animal abuse.

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?

By rearranging the furniture.

When you lose a game of Kahoot, so you kashoot up the school.

Last night I burned down an orphanage.

There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do, tell your parents?"

I got suspended for asking an emo kid if he wants to hang out with me.

A man in Saudi Arabia was caught stealing hand sanitiser.

The silver lining for him is that he will not need hand sanitiser anymore!

Three men are traveling through the desert when their single camel dies. They walk for a while, but then it becomes night. Desperate for shelter, they suddenly stumble across a tent, and inside are three beautiful women. The men were not only lost but horny, too, so they begin to have sex with the women. But the tent belongs to a prince, and these three women were his wives, so he is very angry when he arrives an hour later and sees three strangers having sex with his wives. He tells the three men he will chop off their penises as punishment, in some way relating to their job. He asks the first man what his job is:

The guy says, "I'm a fireman."

The prince says, "Then we'll burn your dick off!"

The second guy says, "I'm an employee at the shooting range."

The prince says, "Then we'll shoot your dick off!"

The third guy smiles and says, "I'm a lollipop salesman."

When the cannibal was late for dinner, he got the cold shoulder.

If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence.

Today I saw my son lick out a tub of butter. I told him to make a sandwich without butter for a week (as a punishment). He said, "Okay," and licked the bread. "It's really easy to spread," he said. LOL!

I went to the principal's office because I gave a deaf kid ear pods for his birthday.

I got banned from the library for putting a book about woman's rights in the fantasy section.

I got detention yesterday because I told the emo kid to "Hang in there."

I don't know if this is a joke or a question, but:

If killing yourself sends you to hell, where does sitting in the waiting room get you?

Why did the sped kid get expelled?

Because he was tardy.