Punishment jokes
Oh, sh**! I'm late for my interview! Do you know where the nearest sex offender registry is?
What is one good thing about pedophiles?
They drive slow in the school zone.
What do you call a person on fire in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels!
Did you hear about the two thieves who stole a calendar? They each got six months.
What happens when a battery commits a crime? They get charged!
God sent a kid to the principal's office for giving a blind kid sunglasses and said, "Don't let the sun damage your eyes!"
Why do homeless people commit crimes?
They get a bed in jail.
What do you get if you cross a gorilla and a prisoner? A kong-vict.
Santa decided coal was too expensive, so he started putting shredded lettuce and mayo in naughty kid's lockers... he calls it the coal's law.
I have a huge thought: if Satan punishes people who are bad, doesn't that make him good?
Me going to jail for telling the orphan he has 363 days because mothers and Father’s Day.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
A kid named Timmy said to his dad that he had sex with his teacher, and his dad was proud of him and gave him a bike.
The kid said, "I can't use it; my butt hurts!"
I got detention for giving an emo kid a glow stick... I tried to lighten his spirit.
Or is she asking her son, "Do you know Newton?"
The boy said, "No, I don't know."
She said to him, "If you had paid attention to your lessons, you would have known him!"
The boy said, "Ok, do you know Ikhlod?"
She said to him, "No, who is she?"
He said to her, "If you had paid attention to your husband, you would have known her."
The important thing is that the boy is currently a week with his uncles and a week with his turbans.
Principal: “Why did you have to skip class? Because of that detention!”
Kid: “Whatever!”
Principal: “Why did you have to swear? Because of that one demerit!”
Kid: “Doesn't matter!”
Principal: “Why did you yell at a teacher and throw a chair at them? Because of that you're suspended!”
Kid: “Oh well!”
Principal: “Why did you have to push a kid down the stairs and kill them? Because of that you're expelled!”
Kid: “I'm trying not to kill myself!”
I say 1, 2, 3, all the kids bullied me, but now they're not so cool, cuz I shot up the school.
"Suicide is a murder, and my body should go to jail."
Somebody stole my joke.
So I stole their spinal cord.
A priest asks a convicted murderer on the electric chair, "Do you have any last request?"
"Yes," said the murderer, "Will you hold my hand?"