Did you hear about the two burglars that stole a calendar? I hear they got six months each.
A man in Saudi Arabia was caught stealing hand sanitiser. The silver lining for him is that he will not need hand sanitiser anymore
What does the pedophile use for bait. TRIX
ya make 10 paintings, you arent an artist ya make 20 meals, you arent a chef but when i kill ONE PERSON, im a "horrible person" and a "menace to society"
I was checking my shoe in my dad's wallet and he slapped me. What exactly did I do to warrant the slap
How do you punish a blind kid?
Re arrange the furniture
Last time I got caught stealing a calendar I got 12 months.
i made a deal with satan. i would get a free pass to hell, if i serve as a demon lord. so, see you guys at the end of times!
Why did the credit card go to jail??????
'Cuz' it was guilty as charged
You know why teacher punished dairy milk.. 🍫🍫?? Answer : because he was choco_'late' to school.. 🏣
How would Steven Hawkins mom punish him as a kid
Power off his chair.
What happens when you throw an underaged boy between two catholic priests? They fight and... You know the rest.
So Johnny was in kindergarten and his teacher assigned him to learn the ABC's so he goes home and ask his mom who's cooking "Whats the first letter of the ABC's?" he ask and his mom responds with "SHUT UP... I'M COOKING!" so then he walks to sister who's signing in the shower and asks her "Whats the 2nd letter of the ABC's?" she responds with "I'm ready to go I'm ready to go!" then he walks over to his brother who's watching batman and asks "Whats the 3rd letter of the ABC's" and his brother responds with "nu nu nu nu batman" then he proceeds to walk to his dad who's watching football and ask "Dad whats the 4th letter of the ABC's?" and he responds with "95 HIT EM HARD!" then he walks to his grandma who's cooking buns and ask her "Whats the 5th letter of the ABC's?" and she responds with "MY BUNS ARE RED HOT RED HOT!" then he Johnny proceeds to go to school the next day and the teacher says to her class "Can any of you tell me the first letter of the ABC's" Johnny of course raises his hand and the teacher calls on him then he says "SHUT UP I'M COOKING!" then the teacher raises and eyebrow and says "Young man are you ready to go to the principals office?" then he proceeds to say "I'm ready to go I'm ready to go!" and he walks to the principals office then she says "What's you're name son?" he responds with "Nu nu nu nu batman!" then the principal ask "How many spanken's boy?!" he responds with "95 HIT EM HARD" and after that he runs out of the principal's office well yelling "MY BUNS ARE RED HOT RED HOT!"
why did the fastest cat get kicked out of school
he was a cheetah
Why did the kid who was blind, in jail need light to see? He didn't, he needed to braille his way out.
What dos 9 and 36 add up to?
A life in prison.
If you kill someone, that's murder. If you kill a family member, that's still murder. If you kill a child, that's "child abuse"
If you steal a lottery ticket, is it considered Grand Theft LOTTO?
What’s the definition of a pedophile Tyler
How do you punish Stevie wonder for bad behavior? You move all of the furniture around
