So I had an idea: you and a friend go bar (pub (whatever you call it)) hopping and propose to said friend in each one so everyone buys you free drinks and you get drunk and have a great time
Steven hawkins walks into a bar oh wait
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third orders a third of a beer. The bartender bellows, "Get the hell out of here, are you trying to ruin me?"
A neutron walks into a bar and asks, "how much for a beer?" The bartender replies, "for you? No charge!"
If Bruno Mars was to run a pub and sell chocolate bars other than alcoholic drinks then he'll have to call his pub a Mars Bar
There was a man he came home with his friends from the bar and man; was he ever wasted. Their friends made sure to get him home safely the next morning he woke up and found blood all over his night stand he called his friends and asked for his alarm clock back.
A pirate walked into a pub with a ship wheel attached to his balls. The bartender says "what the hell is that?". The pirate said "I don't know but it's driving me nuts!".
A dwarf walks into a bar.He ask for a shot of whiskey.The bartender gives him the š„ and it turn into a gallon of whiskey.The bartender sees this and takes it back and it turns back into a shot of whiskey.
A drunk walks into a bar and sees a beautiful woman at the other end of the bar and says "Bartender, I want to buy that douche bag a drink". The bartender says "You can't talk like that! This is a respectable establishment, I'm going to throw you out!". The drunk says "Okay, I'm sorry. I'd like to buy the lady a drink". The bartender goes to where the woman is sitting and says "The, ah, gentleman at the end of the bar would like to buy you a drink, what will it be?". She says "Vinegar and water"
a man walks into a bar
This is why they dont want to sell the double manhattan in pubs anymore
a redneck and a black man walk into a bar and order a drink
A nun went to the pub and ordered a gin the bartender said to her I thought nuns werenāt allowed to drink and she said not usually but I am doing the bishop a favour the bartender then asked if she was coming to the music evening and she said no I am with the bishop tonight.
He orders a beer and a shot of whiskey.
A time traveler walks into a bar.
a jew and jew walk in bar goy say what u want jew say give it alcohol jew say my son run away and become christian another jew pipe in he say my son too bar tender turn around he say āu not gonna believe this...ā
There is this fish, and this fish thinks if that fly drops 6 inches , Iām gonna jump out the water and eat that fucking fish !
Then there is a bear , he thinks if that fly drops six inches , that fish jumps up - Iām gonna run out there and eat that fucking fish !
This huntsman also thinks to him self š§ if that fly drops six inches , fish jumps up , bear runs out eats the fish . Iām gonna shoot that fucking bear .
Unbelievably there is a tiny little brave mouse , who also thinks to him self š§ if that fly drops six inches , fish jumps , bear runs , huntsman shoots ,
Heās bound to drop that cheese sandwich in his back pocket !!!!
Iām gonna eat that fucking cheese sandwich!!
Meanwhile ..,
thereās This cat !!!ā He sees whatās going on - if they fly drops six inches -the fish =bear =huntsman =mouse eating the cheese sarnie....
Easy pickings ...
Anyway bang š„ the fly drops six inches . Fish jumps up . Bear grabs the fish . Huntsman shoots the fucking bear ,
DROPS HIS CHEESE SARNIE !!
Cat runs after mouse trying to get the cheese sarnie
The cat Slips over him ( stacks it ) cat falls in the river ...
LONG STORY I KNOW BUT THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS .............
every time a fly drops six inches a pussy get wet )
WALLOP ... try remembering all that in A pub pissed . Xx
