Psychology jokes
Are you a mental hospital? Cause I need to be in you.
For pedophiles, watching teen porn must be like watching mature porn.
"Others, Morris, Sal, Sal, Rasuba Marid, Things!"
My son is broken: "I think at home!"
Happiness!
What's the best thing you can do if you're feeling lonely?
Watch a scary movie. You won't feel lonely anymore.
What is the difference between a leaf falling from a tree and an emo falling from a tree?
The leaf falls to the ground, the emo just hangs there.
An adopted kid is walking to school when an emo kid approaches him. He says the emo kid, "Do you have rope?"
"No," replies the adopted kid.
"Dang it! I hate you," says the emo kid. "Now the adopted one is angry. Well, at least I'm loved," says the adopted kid.
If you know an emo kid, please stay away. The depression is contagious. I'm a survivor.
Like if you dislike emos.
How do you make the grass cut itself?
Make it depressed.
Isn't having depersonalization mean that you like the animatronics off of FNAF/Five Nights at Freddy's?
(If you don't know what depersonalization is, look it up.)
Why do orphans kill people so they can finally be wanted?
1 minute silence for those who still think thoughts can't kill you.
Why did the rapper go to therapy?
To work on his FLOW ISSUES.
What happened when the depressed person waved at a tree?
It left him hanging.
Suicide is just self-defense. You're killing the person that tried to kill you.
I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia.
She whispered, "They're right behind you!"
I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. Do not read it.
Q. What's an emo's favorite type of comedy?
A. Gallows humor.
When the school shooter shoots the autistic kid and he thinks he's having an orgasm.
Q. What do rape victims miss?
A. Part of their brain.
What do you call a flat-chested depressed person?
A cutting board.
I walk up to a kid. I ask where his parents are, and he started crying. Then I walked out of the orphanage.