Psychology jokes
My dad may be working, but the coping mechanisms sure aren't!
Who am I?
Me: I'm afraid of random letters.
Therapist: You are?
Me: [screams]
Therapist: Oh, I see.
Me: [screaming intensifies]
Why do depressed people want to kill themselves?
To be loved on the news show for 10 minutes.
How do you get a retard out of a tree?
Wave at them.
Memes
Are you angry?
Go bully an orphan!
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up, and the teacher was surprised. She didn’t think anyone would stand up, so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?” He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”
I'd tell a joke about how my mom was abusive, but I either forgot everything, or she just wasn't there.
When you think you're depressed, but you know you're probably just using depression to be lazy and self-loathing, but then you realize that it, in itself, might actually be a symptom of depression.
Well gang, it looks like we've got another mystery on our hands!
If I fall in love with my depression, maybe it'll leave me too.
(Took this from my other account @Toby :) btw)
Person: You're so ugly.
Me: You ugly.
Person: I'm not a mirror.
Me: And I'm not your reflection.
Don’t you hate it when your teacher(s) say, “just focus, it’s that easy?”
And then you die inside.
Why did the booty go to therapy?
It had some DEEP-SEATED issues.
Why did the orphan become a prostitute?
They wanted somebody to call "daddy."
For pedophiles, watching teen porn must be like watching mature porn.
I have a phobia of over-engineered buildings.
It's a complex complex complex.
This isn't a joke; I just want to spread awareness of anatidaephobia.
Why do orphans love getting r@ped?
Because they want to know what love feels like.
Which one fell first?
The depressed kid or the feather? Look at 1st comment to see answer.
Orphans want girlfriends to call someone "Mommy."