Psychology jokes
I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. Do not read it.
Why was the Ethiopian baby crying?
It was having a mid-life crisis.
My therapist said to try having a different outlook on life.
I agree. I should have a different outlook on life. Preferably from underground.
Space therapist in between the e and the r.
The rapists!
Yesterday I wanted to look up the term "procrastination".
I swear, I'll do it tomorrow.
What happened when the depressed person waved at a tree?
It left him hanging.
What's the difference between crazy people and regular people?
We don't live in their heads.
"Kill yourself."
"Kill me yourself, pussy."
What do you say to a depressed special kid?
“Why so down?”
Why do orphans play GTA?
They want to be wanted.
Why are orphans very abusive to their kids?
Because they never had loving parents of their own.
Principal: “Why did you have to skip class? Because of that detention!”
Kid: “Whatever!”
Principal: “Why did you have to swear? Because of that one demerit!”
Kid: “Doesn't matter!”
Principal: “Why did you yell at a teacher and throw a chair at them? Because of that you're suspended!”
Kid: “Oh well!”
Principal: “Why did you have to push a kid down the stairs and kill them? Because of that you're expelled!”
Kid: “I'm trying not to kill myself!”
I'm like a rubber because people hit me as I can't feel.
Me: I'm afraid of random letters.
Therapist: You are?
Me: [screams]
Therapist: Oh, I see.
Me: [screaming intensifies]
The cure for depression is around the corner... There it is, the train.
Why did the lil kid cut himself?
Answer: Because he was emo, HAHHHAHAHAHAAHHA!
What is the real reason why men jack off? They just enjoy killing kids.
A different version of you exists in the minds of everyone that knows you.
What's the natural cure to an old man's inability to forgive people?
Alzheimer's.
Why did the math book go to the psychologist?
It had too many problems.