Profession jokes
I lick poo for a living... You?
Niall Devine, clown.
Why do shepherds never learn to count?
Because if they did, they would always be falling asleep.
What is better for bus drivers? A. Magic school bus 🚌
Legally Blonde.
If you are disabled and a comedian, is it called stand-down or sit-up?
What do you call a prostitute with a major in math?
The thot that counts.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES to cook?
MC Cheffin'.
How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?
Ask them to pronounce "unionized".
What did the 90s rocker Space Engineer in multiplayer Miner yell at the Troll stealing his stuff?
"Hey! give me my Nickelback!"
Why do they call me a firefighter? Because I find them hot, and I leave them wet!
What do you call an expert fisherman? A "MASTER-BAITER".
Why do orphans become hookers?
They can call someone daddy.
Me: I'ma sign up to be a clown.
My friend: Why?
Me: Because my life is a joke. 😂
Why did the rapper bring a fishing rod to the studio?
To reel in some KILLER HOOKS.
What do you call a rapper who’s also a DOCTOR?
MC Healer.
What do lawyers wear to court?
Lawsuits.
If a master fisherman had a caddie, what would be the caddie's job title?
A master baiter.
There's a plane going down over the desert with only 3 parachutes on board. There are four people onboard: the smartest man in the world, the best doctor in the world, an old priest, and a young nerd. The doctor says, "People need me for my medical skills," grabs the first parachute pack, and jumps. The smartest man in the world says, "People need me for my intelligence," grabs a pack, and jumps. The old priest says, "I have lived a long and happy life. You take the last chute." The nerd says, "Don't worry. There are enough chutes for the both of us. The smartest man in the world just grabbed my backpack."
Why did the rapper become a barber?
Because he loved to drop FRESH CUTS.