Profession jokes
Why does fireman wear red suspenders?
To hold his pants up.
- I work with animals.
- Great! What job?
- A butcher.
Orange you glad you are not a comedian?
What's the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?
A rooster clucks defiance!
What would you name a detective if he didn't already have a name?
Cassie.
Get it?
Memes
What did the bull say to the bullfighter?
What's the "matador?"
If a master fisherman had a caddie, what would be the caddie's job title?
A master baiter.
Q: What's the difference between a Genealogist and a Gynecologist?
A: One looks up the family tree and the other looks up the family bush.
What is a Care Bear's favorite job?
Take care of bears.
Who do you call to clean up foul language?
A cuss-todian!
Why did the rapper bring a fishing rod to the studio?
To reel in some KILLER HOOKS.
Why did the rapper become an archaeologist?
Because he wanted to dig for old-school beats!
Leo must be an INTERIOR DECORATOR... because when she enters a room, it becomes UGLY.
Why did the rapper go to therapy?
He had too many BARS he couldn't drop.
Why did the rapper become a weatherman?
To predict the HEAT of his next single.
No matter how hard I try, I will never be a stand-up comedian.
The doctor had an ego so big, it fell into the ocean fast.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES to cook?
MC Cheffin'.
What do you call a rapper who’s also a DOCTOR?
MC Healer.
Why did the rapper become a MATH TEACHER?
Because he was good with bars and beats.