Profession jokes

Knock knock! Who's there? Stripper. Stripper who? Stripper down!

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer?

We are both lawyers.

These jokes are EGGxactly why I became a comedian, and I know how to BAKE on breakfast.

2 jokes in a row babyyyyy!

What is the perfect job for a pedophile?

A physical doctor for kids.

Doctor: I can't treat you.

Orphan: Why!

Doctor: I'm a family doctor.

Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Well, pull yourself together, then.

Doctor, doctor! My brother's crazy! He thinks he's a chicken. Is he egging around? Yes, but we need to get the eggs.

Woman: Doctor, doctor! I keep thinking I'm an elephant! Doctor: Run around the room. Then the woman stomps around the room and breaks things.

Doctor, doctor! I fell like a bell! Shall I ring you, then? When can you ring me up?

Doctor, doctor! I have a ball stuck in my throat! Shall I bat it and get a run, then?

What is a bus driver that does not work? A useless one!

Me: I want to be a stand-up comedian.

Friend: You have to be able to stand up.

Why did the rapper become a barber?

Because they love CUTTING TRACKS!

Why did the rapper become a fisherman?

Because they loved dropping BASS.

What do you call a rapper who's also a PILOT?

Fly Guy

Why did the rapper become a barber?

Because he loved to drop FRESH CUTS.

What do you call a rapper who LOVES to cook?

Lil Sizzle.

Why did the rapper become a plumber?

Because he wanted to lay down some SICK PIPES!

Why did the rapper become a chef?

Because he knew how to mix up some beats!

If you are disabled and a comedian, is it called stand-down or sit-up?

Why does fireman wear red suspenders?

To hold his pants up.

- I work with animals.

- Great! What job?

- A butcher.

Orange you glad you are not a comedian?

What's the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

A rooster clucks defiance!