What did the mechanic say to the other mechanic when he broke the car?
"How will we wrench ourselves out of this?"
Profession Jokes
Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Well, pull yourself together, then.
Doctor, doctor! My brother's crazy! He thinks he's a chicken. Is he egging around? Yes, but we need to get the eggs.
Woman: Doctor, doctor! I keep thinking I'm an elephant! Doctor: Run around the room. Then the woman stomps around the room and breaks things.
Doctor, doctor! I fell like a bell! Shall I ring you, then? When can you ring me up?
Doctor, doctor! I have a ball stuck in my throat! Shall I bat it and get a run, then?
What is a bus driver that does not work? A useless one!
Me: I want to be a stand-up comedian.
Friend: You have to be able to stand up.
- I work with animals.
- Great! What job?
- A butcher.
Why does fireman wear red suspenders?
To hold his pants up.
If you are disabled and a comedian, is it called stand-down or sit-up?
What would you name a detective if he didn't already have a name?
Cassie.
Get it?
What's the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?
A rooster clucks defiance!
Orange you glad you are not a comedian?
What did the bull say to the bullfighter?
What's the "matador?"
If a master fisherman had a caddie, what would be the caddie's job title?
A master baiter.
Why did the rapper become a plumber?
Because he wanted to lay down some SICK PIPES!
Why did the rapper become a chef?
Because he knew how to mix up some beats!
Why did the rapper become a fisherman?
Because they loved dropping BASS.
What do you call a rapper who's also a PILOT?
Fly Guy
Why did the rapper become a barber?
Because he loved to drop FRESH CUTS.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES to cook?
Lil Sizzle.
What do you call a rapper with a PhD?
A rap scholar.
What do you call a rapper who's also a firefighter?
BLAZE RHYMES.
