Problem Jokes

Some locked me out of my house today.... At least the children in my basement aren't my problem anymore

What do you tell a suicidal person when they complain about their problems to you? Just, hang in there, man.

This one is for Gwen, I'm sorry people are so mean to you. All the big cats gathered for a game of poker. Why did the tiger lose? Because one of his opponents kept on lion. Another had a puma-nent poker face. But the real problem was the cheetah.

Today I went to the doctor for a test and he said I have 10 months to live. So later that day I stabbed him to death & the judge sentenced me for 15 years in prison. Problem solved

I once dated a Math teacher,, it turned out she was nothing but problems

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

A Nacho has a problem going on, and the Taco says to the Nacho, "Wanna taco 'bout it?" and the Nacho say to the Taco, "It's nacho problem!"

Son: Why is my sister’s name Paris?

Dad: Because we conceived her in Paris.

Son: Thanks, dad.

Dad: No problem Quarantine.

if Carlos and Jose took a brownie from me and i had 10 to start what do I have?

Answer -a math problem insta =carlosalvarezz

I know people don’t really like cat puns, but mine are PURRety good. Did you CATch that one? No? Because you are in a bad mood? You should WISKER those feelings away. We should PAWnder ways to fix your mood. Just remember to keep CLAWing at the problem. I am glad I can help MEW.

Young Couple gets banned from church.

There were three couples, one elderly, one middle aged, and one newlywed, that wanted to join a church. So the minister tells them that in order to be members they must abstain from sex for two whole weeks.

After two weeks, the minister asks the elderly couple if they had abstained. "Yes, no problem!"So the minister welcomes them to the church.

Then he asks the middle aged couple the same question "Well, after one week, the husband had to sleep on the couch, but we made it!" So the minister welcomes them to the church.

Then the minister asks the newlywed couple if they had abstained from sex for two weeks.

"We were unable to abstain. On the third day, my wife dropped a can of corn and when she bent over to pick it up, LUST and PASSION overcame me! I took her right there."

"I'm sorry," the minister says, "but you are both banned from this church!"

"We understand," says the husband, "We were banned from the grocery store, too."

There were these two guys in a lunatic asylum... and one night, one night they decide they don't like living in an asylum any more. They decide they're going to escape! So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moon light... stretching away to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend didn't dare make the leap. Y'see... Y'see, he's afraid of falling. So then, the first guy has an idea... He says 'Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!' B-but the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says... He says 'Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!”

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

cars are like bullets, you jump in front of one they solve all your problems

On the plus side Nicola Bulley no longer has a problem with Alcohol

What makes laissez-faire and a gangbang the same?

Not my problem.

imagine u go to school right u hit the curve the bus driver be like ahhh how do i stop the bus students from the bus jump from the windows one of the students THAT'S a U Problem

This guy goes to the doctor and says, “I think I’m a wigwam, no, I think I’m a teepee, no, I must be a wigwam, no, a teepee.” The doctor tells him, “I think I understand your problem. You’re two tents.”