Problem jokes
Why do orphans always get picked on? They can't run and tell their parents.
Why can't America play chess?
Because it lost two towers.
Why can't an orphan go on a field trip? They don't have a parent's signature.
Why can't dinosaurs clap? Because they're dead!
Why did the cat cross the road?
To make a catastrophy on the road.
Why can't Hitler join track?
Because he can't even finish a race.
Why did my wife leave me? I wish I knew.
Why did Susie get cut from the soccer team? She has no legs!
Who broke into my house by kicking down my door? Not Susie... But she still is in my basement, since she can't run!
Why did the orphan not have a girlfriend?
Because he thought that she would leave him too.
Q) What do you call Iron Man when he can't swim?
A) Robert Drowney Jr.
Because of all the rampant inbreeding in America, it's not a surprise that Hollywood had to poach models, comedians, and actors from Canada and Australia.
These are all of my terrible jokes.
Two antennas met on a roof, they fell in love and got married. The ceremony was alright, but the reception was amazing.
A jumper cable walks into a bar and the bartender said, "I'll serve you but don't start anything."
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
Two cannibals are eating a clown, one says, "Does this taste funny to you? I'm joking of course!"
Dejamoo: the feeling that you've heard this bull before.
A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident and said to the doctor "I can't feel my legs." The doctor said, "I know, I amputated your arms!"
I went to seafood disco last week, I pulled a muscle.
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
Two fish swim into a concrete wall, one says, "Dam!"
A mystic dwarf escapes from a jail, the call went out for a "small medium at large."
A man walks into a bar with solid tar under his arm, he says, "A beer please, and one for the road."
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The p is silent.
Yo mama so fat that she should be worried, diabetes is a serious problem.
What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut, duh.
A priest, a rabbi, and a cleric walk into a bar. The cleric, due to his religious constructions, does not drink alcohol. The others do the same, they have a pleasant fun and nothing bad happens.
What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.
I remember the last words my grandad said before he kicked the bucket, "How far do you think I can kick this bucket?"
A man walks into a bar, his alcohol independence is pulling this family apart.
I like my coffee like my women, on sometimes with a penis.
A man is working at a bar, a money comes in and orders a banana martini. The man wakes up and tells his story to his wife, he is ignored and he turns around sobbing. His marriage is falling apart.
Why didn't Jesus play hockey? Soccer and baseball are more popular in Mexico.
What's green and has wheels? Grass, the wheels were a lie.
What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have wheels except the duck.
Why couldn't the dinosaur break the wall? I don't know. I'm asking you.
Why did the old woman put rainbow roller skates on her walker? She has dementia.
There are an owl and a squirrel watching a farmer go by, they owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing. It's an owl it can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because the owl is a bird of prey.
I asked a Scottish friend of mine how many sexual partners he'd had. He started counting, but fell asleep.
Why couldn't the kid go rock wall climbing?
Because every time he moved his leg upward, his prosthetic leg fell off.
Despite Michael Jackson’s legal problems while he was alive, McDonald’s is still going to honor his life achievements in the music industry by naming a sandwich after him.
They’re going to call it the McMichael! It’s going to be a fifty year old piece of meat pressed between two eight year old buns.
I went for a job interview today and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."
"Well, I'm your man," I replied, "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."
Community talk
still posting these idk why I am still doing this, BTW u can just come tell me its fine cuz I do I have a problem with that...
why am i still posting these like no one chares about these fr, i know i have a problem just tell mee noww???
idk why i am posting these do i have a problem with that, if i doo just tell mee... btw come join to have a lot of drama??