Problem jokes
Why can't orphans really play baseball?
Because when they do, all the other kids tell that joke that everyone has heard more than 50 times.
The emo was having computer problems because they had troubleshooting.
Why do mummies have trouble making friends?
His wife shut off the internet.
Why is the UK bad at chess? Because they already lost their queen.
VAPING IS ALSO BAD
Why do an emo's parents not let them cook, because they are afraid they will cut themselves?
Why do orphans not play sport?
Because they need parents' permission.
Zion's so fat, when he walks, he breaks his mama's back.
Why can't an orphan go to college?
He needs a parent signature.
Son, what is 1 plus 1?
Dad, I don't know.
Son, it is 2.
Dad, oh, I was gonna say 2.
Why can't an orphan play kickball?
Because they can't hit home.
Three men are traveling through the desert when their single camel dies. They walk for a while, but then it becomes night. Desperate for shelter, they suddenly stumble across a tent, and inside are three beautiful women. The men were not only lost but horny, too, so they begin to have sex with the women. But the tent belongs to a prince, and these three women were his wives, so he is very angry when he arrives an hour later and sees three strangers having sex with his wives. He tells the three men he will chop off their penises as punishment, in some way relating to their job. He asks the first man what his job is:
The guy says, "I'm a fireman."
The prince says, "Then we'll burn your dick off!"
The second guy says, "I'm an employee at the shooting range."
The prince says, "Then we'll shoot your dick off!"
The third guy smiles and says, "I'm a lollipop salesman."
Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a scale and it said: "To be continued."
What's the worst thing about eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
I am having a shit and there[sic] nothing else to read.
Why can't dinosaurs clap? Because they're dead!
Why can't orphans play video games?
Because they don't have their parent's email.
This stuff is messed up, you people.
Why did Susie get cut from the soccer team? She has no legs!
Who broke into my house by kicking down my door? Not Susie... But she still is in my basement, since she can't run!
Theory is when you know everything but nothing works.
Practice is when everything works but no one knows why.
In our lab, theory and practice are combined: Nothing works and no one knows why.