Problem jokes
When Ariana Grande broke up with Pete, she said, "I have one less problem without you."
Everyone is talking about Head and Shoulders, and that if he never had a shower, his batteries would have got wet.
I got a new pair of gloves today, but they're both 'lefts,' which, on one hand, is great, but on the other, it's just not right.
Why were the Twin Towers mad? Because they ordered three pepperoni pizzas and one came plain, the other came late, and the other one went to the wrong address.
what does an orphanage and a hospital have in common?
people go there to fix their mistakes.
It's true though
Why can't an orphan play kickball?
Because they can't hit home.
Why did Stephen Hawking go to Hell?
He couldn't get up the stairway to Heaven.
What is the worst thing about dating a blind woman?
Getting her husband's voice just right.
An Asian student was learning logarithm in class. He wrote down his name after the question. The teacher asked why. He replied, "My class ID is number 1."
What do lesbians and turtles have in common? They both choke on plastic.
Why can’t orphans eat a big bag of chips?
They are family sized.
Stephen Hawking died because he was too far away from the Wi-Fi router.
The Titanic, just like my phone, IT JUST WON'T SYNC.
Edit: Never mind, it started to sync...
I once dated a math teacher. It turned out she was nothing but problems.
Why can't homosexuals get car insurance?
They've been rear-ended too many times.
Why couldn't the skeleton go to the prom? Because he had no BODY to go with...
I could have said a skeleTON more jokes, but I think that might break your funny bone.
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl urinate? Because walls.
What did the hooker say when she found out the cash she was paid with for services rendered was counterfeit?
I've been raped!
Say what you will of pedophiles, but you can't ignore their problem with immature ejaculation.
Maths...
....Addition, frustration, subtraction, aggression, depression.