Problem jokes
Your hairline is so far back Sherlock couldn't solve that mystery.
Girls are like math, if they're under 10, use your fingers.
People named Aaron are annoying. Why have two A’s when you can have none? (Ron)
Why don't orphans go to the park?
Because their parents can't push them on the swing!
Windows could not connect to the Internet, would you like to search online for a solution to this problem?
Why did C.S.C fail the Trig test? Cosecant remember his own name! Mwahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
On the plus side, Nicola Bulley no longer has a problem with alcohol.
What’s wrong with a gay bbq?
All the hotdogs taste like shit.
Why don't orphans play football?
They can't find home.
How do you die from Alzheimer's? You forget how to breathe.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
They can't find the home plate.
What do you call a Scottish Muslim with drug problems?
(Said in a Scottish accent) "Amaffmaheed."
Have you ever heard of the stupid coyote? He got stuck in a trap, chewed off three of his legs, and was still stuck!
My doctor gave me 1 year. So I shot him.
The judge gave me fifteen. Problem solved!
Joe mama so fat when she went to the movies, she sat next to everybody.
Joe mama so fat when she stepped on the scale, it said, "One at a time, please."
Joe mama so fat when she stepped on the scale, it said, "To be continued."
Your forehead is so long, even Einstein didn’t know how to cross it.
A group of Astronauts, a Mechanic, a Pilot, & a Communications operator are on a very important mission to Mars when one of their solar panels gets grazed by a meteorite.
And so the Astronauts quickly assemble in the hull to wait for orders from the ground. Once the Communications operator turned on coms, their man on the ground told the Pilot to continue their course & to send the Mechanic out to fix the problem. As the Mechanic worked on finishing repairing the solar panel, the Pilot & Communications operator told each other dark jokes when out of nowhere a meteorite field appeared! The Ground operator frighteningly shouted "Get him back in the ship!" to the Communications operator. "Chill out, he'll be fine," The Pilot assured him. "Get him the hell out of there, that's an order!" The Ground operator argued. Then thirty seconds later the Communications operator came back from the air shoot & asked, "Now what?"
There were these two guys in a lunatic asylum... and one night, they decide they don't like living in an asylum anymore. They decide they're going to escape!
So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moonlight... stretching away to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend didn't dare make the leap. You see... You see, he's afraid of falling.
So then, the first guy has an idea... He says "Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!" B-but the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says... He says "Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!"
Why can’t orphans go on school field trips?
Parent Signature: _______
eBay is so useless.
I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches.