Priest's jokes
What do a Catholic priest and an Olympic silver medalist have in common? A: They both come in a little behind.
You should know how important it is to wash your sex toys.
That's why priests invented baptism.
What do you call a cross between a priest and a child?
The cross shoved up the priest’s ass as he ‘downward dogs’ the kid.
What do you call an orphan that grows up to be a priest?
Father-less.
A priest sees a man about to commit suicide. The man says, "I have nothing to live for here. I will die, go to Heaven, and get 72 virgins." Then the priest says, "No need for this. I will take you to the local elementary school."
Priest
What does McDonald's and a Catholic priest have in common?
They both put their meat in 10-year-old buns.
On a bus, a priest sat next to a drunk who was struggling to read a newspaper.
Suddenly, with a slurred voice, the drunk asked the priest:
"Do you know what arthritis is?"
The parish priest soon thought of taking the opportunity to lecture the drunk and replied:
"It's a disease caused by sinful and unruly life: excess, consumption of alcohol, drugs, marijuana, crack, and certainly lost women, prostitutes, promiscuity, sex, binges, and other things I dare not say."
The drunk widened his eyes, shut up, and continued reading the newspaper.
A little later the priest, thinking that he had been too hard on the drunk, tried to soften:
"How long have you had arthritis?"
"I don't have arthritis! It says here in the paper that the Pope has it."
My father touched me yesterday. I called him a priest.
Why did the child cross the road?
To get to the church.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The Priest... Let's go to my office, because I'm totally not a pedophile.
A rapist, pedophile, and a priest walk into a bar. He orders a beer.
Same person.
When a Muslim dies, he gets 72 virgins.
It's the same thing with priests, except the virgins are children.
When is a priest's best compromise?
A failed Baptism.
What did the racist Catholic priest say?
"Martin Luther? Not my king!"
What does a priest and a clown have in common?
They both make children cry.
It's important to wash your sex toys.
That's why priests invented baptism.
Why does the Catholic Church have a glory hole inside the confessional booth?
So a priest can give an anonymous blowjob to another bisexual man, or a gay man, or a heterosexual man that has a big dick after the priest hears their confession.
What's similar between a priest and McDonald's?
They both shove their meat in between 10 year old buns.
What do you get when you combine a priest and lawyer? A Father-in-law.
What's the difference between a Catholic Priest and a pedophile?
One is Catholic.