Priest's jokes
A monk asks the priest if it's okay to kiss a nun.
The priest replies, "Just as long as you don't get in the habit!"
What does a priest and Christmas tree have in common? The balls are just for decoration.
What do priests give children?
Syphilis.
How is [someone] blessed with a 9 inch dick?
That priest is in jail now. Shout out to the church!
A pedophile and a priest run a race.
You can’t beat yourself in a race!
Why are priests so bad at racing? They are always in the 'little behind'.
If you mixed the Iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad, what would you get?
Tony Abbott's career.
What is a similarity between priests and doctors?
They both have fetishes for their professions.
What’s a priest's favorite sport?
Golf, because most of the holes are less than 18.
What's the difference between 5% of priests and 5% of atheists?
5% of atheists have seen a ghost.
5% of priests have spooked altar boys in the sacristy.
What do you call a priest that likes juice?
A Capriest Sun.
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and the devil?
The devil always has horns... not just around children.
What did the priest say during the christening?
"So anyway, I started blasting!"
The priest had a very holy shirt.
Q: What do Satan and a priest have in common?
A: They both love naughty souls.
What is the difference between a priest and anesthesia?
The anesthesia takes a while to put you under.
What's the difference between a Baptist and a rapist? The priests.
Now I know what my priest meant by the second coming!
What do you call a priest meeting his illegal children?
A holy CUMmunion.
You should always wash your sex toys. That’s why priests invented baptism.