Priest's jokes
I was blessed with a 9-inch dick. Fair to say that priest is in jail now.
The first priest asks the second, "How long do we keep the babies in the holy water?" The priest replies, "No clue... I close my eyes when I masturbate!"
What's the difference between a priest and McDonald's?
They both like to slide their meat between 10 year old buns.
Why do priests perform baptisms? So they can see children wet.
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and acne?
Acne waits until you're 13 to come on your face.
What's a priest's favorite fruit?
Cantaloupe.
A little boy went to church. The priest said, "Get in the following positions: stand, then kneel, then bow." The little boy replies, "Can you hurry up and f**k me already?"
What's a reversed exorcism?
It's when it's the demon who's telling the priest to get out of the child's body.
Say all you want about priests, but at least they drive slowly in school zones.
What happens when you throw an underage boy between two Catholic priests?
They fight and... You know the rest.
Roses are red, don’t touch the toys, these are what the priests use to lure in the boys.
Ten Catholic priests all die in a bus accident. When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they're all priests and immediately says "If any of you are pedophiles, there's no point waiting here. You might as well eff off straight to hell right now!” Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away. St. Peter calls after them, "AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!”
A white dad, a priest, and a rabbi all run out a burning school, and the dad says, “What about the kids?” and the rabbi replies to him saying, “Fuck the kids,” and the priest says, “Think we got enough time?”
A normal exorcism is getting a demon out of a person, but a reverse exorcism is the devil telling the priest to get out of the child.
Why do priests appreciate educated children?
They don't spit.
What's the difference between McDonald's and a priest?
nothing... they both stick their meat in ten-year-old buns.
What's the difference between a silver medal and a priest?
They both came in a little behind.
Roses are red... Orphans are blue... I killed the priest so I could rape them too.
A priest asks a nun if she has slept with anyone, and the nun says, "Yes, a fucking hot girl!"
A priest asks a convicted murderer on the electric chair, "Do you have any last request?"
"Yes," said the murderer, "Will you hold my hand?"