Why can't you make jokes about catholic priests?
Because they blow up in your face.
After arriving home from helping the priest, a young altar boy approaches his parents, "Mommy, Daddy, my poop is white!"
The mother rushes the boy to the hospital, while the father rushes to church in a rage and proceeds to beat the living hell out of the priest. Afterwards, the father heads to the hospital and meets his wife in the waiting room; she's surprisingly calm.
"How can you be so relaxed after what that bastard has been doing to our son?" he exclaims.
The wife looks up at him, "What are you talking about? It's just a liver infection!"
What is the difference between a priest and anesthesia?
The anesthesia takes a while to put you under.
Why do orphans like going to church?
Because they actually get to say "father" for once.
What is a similarity between priests and doctors?
They both have fetishes for their professions.
What do you call a priest meeting his illegal children?
A holy CUMmunion.
What's the difference between 5% of priests and 5% of atheists?
5% of atheists have seen a ghost.
5% of priests have spooked altar boys in the sacristy.
What do you call a priest that likes juice?
A Capriest Sun.
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and the devil?
The devil always has horns... not just around children.
A pedophile and a priest run a race.
You can’t beat yourself in a race!
One night when I was six, I had this super annoying accent, and when I said the number "six," Oh no... One night my Catholic priest asked me how many cookies I needed for my family. I told him six, but thanks to my accent being mixed with many others including Scottish, French, and Russian, it sounded like I said "I need to have sex." He looked at me strange then pulled me into a closet, being a pedo.
When Momma asked me why I was missing for 6 hours, I told her, "I went to get the cookies like you told me to, and father raped the Christianity out of me." The angry look she gave my father was amazing. Then with my Papa, she beat the hell outta him.
Serves him right.
I accidentally suck my own‘s ball sack
What’s do a priest and Christmas tree lights have in common?
They can both flash
If a priest listens to sad music in his church, he really enjoys being deep in minor.
why is biden a priest? so kids call him father
Why did the priest buy a clown suit?
Because the old one had blood all over it.
I recently learned that churches won’t let trans men become priests because they don’t consider trans men as men, which is rather confusing to me.
As a Jew, I don’t know very much about Christianity, but from what I’ve heard, don’t priests love little boys?
Ashes to ashes, priests prefer boys, 'cause they don't have to shave their asses.
"A priest, an imam, and a rabbit walk into a clinic to donate blood. The rabbit turns to the nurse and says, 'I think I'm a Type-O.'"
A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, “Is this some kind of joke
