Priest jokes

When the priest said, "Be gone from this boy, demon!" the demon replied, "And you get out of the boy!"

How do you know you've found a priest? When little Timmy is glued to his crotch.

Ever heard of a reverse exorcism? It’s when the Devil tells the priest to exit the child’s body.

Cancer.

What did the priest say when he walked into an elementary school?

Let us prey.

What's the difference between a priest and a rabbi? A rabbi cuts it off, a priest sucks it off.

Two priests are driving down a road when they are pulled over by the cops.

The cop shines a light in their faces and signals to the driver to roll down his window.

"We're searching for two child molesters," he says.

The driver leans over to the other priest, and they whisper between themselves.

Finally, he turns back to the policeman. "Ok. We'll do it."

Why are you guys making fun of priests?

Because you have a suga daddy already.

My priest asked if anyone had any questions or anything interesting they wanted to say.

So I raised my hand, he said why don’t you tell everyone what you have to say.

In front of the whole church I said I did not know Jesus Christ was the first scarecrow.

If you look at this joke, you are going to meet a Catholic priest tomorrow.

Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"

What is a reverse exorcism?

It’s when the demon tells the priest to get out of the child’s body.

How do men like their women? Striped.

How does a priest like their children? Clean.

Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.

What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.

Why is sucking cock inside the confessional booth the only thing that a catholic priest doesn't have to give up for lent?

Because catholic priests don't have to be vegetarians during lent.

What do you call a priest meeting his illegal children?

A holy CUMmunion.

Father, then the priest says, "Son, Holy Spirit, amen." No, I was asking you a question, Father.

A Catholic school is burning down. One of the priests says, "Save the children, save them!" Another priest says, "F*ck the children, we're gonna die!!" The last priest is like, "Hmmm... do we have time?"

Why are Demons dying from Priestwater? The soul from a Priest is completely different.

A priest, a minister, a rabbi and an imam walk into a bar.

The bartender looks at them and says, "Is this a joke?"

When is a priest's best compromise?

A failed Baptism.