Priest jokes
Where do babies get baptized?
So the priest can wash their sex toys.
If a priest listens to sad music in his church, he really enjoys being deep in minor.
What do a priest and Christmas tree lights have in common?
They can both flash.
I accidentally sucked my own ball sack.
Why is Biden a priest?
So kids call him father.
Why did the priest buy a clown suit?
Because the old one had blood all over it.
Ashes to ashes, priests prefer boys, 'cause they don't have to shave their asses.
"A priest, an imam, and a rabbit walk into a clinic to donate blood. The rabbit turns to the nurse and says, 'I think I'm a Type-O!'"
You should always wash your sex toys. That's why priests baptize babies.
A priest, a rabbi, and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, “Is this some kind of joke?”
What is the difference between the subway guy and a priest?
The subway guy didn’t get away with it...
An LDS preacher knocks on the door with a chalice of wine offering to do the sacrament.
The person living there points and says, "Begone, foul blood-drinker!"
And promptly the preacher bursts into flames, leaving nothing but ash.
I recently learned that churches won’t let trans men become priests because they don’t consider trans men as men, which is rather confusing to me.
As a Jew, I don’t know very much about Christianity, but from what I’ve heard, don’t priests love little boys?
A rapist, pedophile, and a priest walk into a bar.
He orders a beer.
My priest asked if anyone had any questions or anything interesting they wanted to say.
So I raised my hand, he said why don’t you tell everyone what you have to say.
In front of the whole church I said I did not know Jesus Christ was the first scarecrow.
What did the racist Catholic priest say?
"Martin Luther? Not my king!"
On a bus, a priest sat next to a drunk who was struggling to read a newspaper.
Suddenly, with a slurred voice, the drunk asked the priest:
"Do you know what arthritis is?"
The parish priest soon thought of taking the opportunity to lecture the drunk and replied:
"It's a disease caused by sinful and unruly life: excess, consumption of alcohol, drugs, marijuana, crack, and certainly lost women, prostitutes, promiscuity, sex, binges, and other things I dare not say."
The drunk widened his eyes, shut up, and continued reading the newspaper.
A little later the priest, thinking that he had been too hard on the drunk, tried to soften:
"How long have you had arthritis?"
"I don't have arthritis! It says here in the paper that the Pope has it."
I apologise for this joke lmfaooo, and you have probably heard this banger before, anyways;
What is the difference between a priest and a zit? 👀 The zit waits till you are 13 to come on your face 🤧
How do you make holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.
Q: What do Satan and a priest have in common?
A: They both want Anthony's neck.