How do you know you've found a priest? When little Timmy is glued to his crotch.
How is a priest like a wristwatch?
They both start at 12.
Two priests are driving down a road when they are pulled over by the cops.
The cop shines a light in their faces and signals to the driver to roll down his window.
"We're searching for two child molesters," he says.
The driver leans over to the other priest, and they whisper between themselves.
Finally, he turns back to the policeman. "Ok. We'll do it."
Q: What do you call a Mexican fighting a catholic priest?
A: Alien vs. Predator
Thank the Lord for my two huge balls!
Guys, we gotta stop telling these jokes. They are getting out of h- oh wait no .... Continue.
Yo daddy so stupid, he threw a Father’s Day party at the orphanage.
What did the Catholic priest say to the other Catholic priest as they entered the orphanage? Let’s us prey.
what do a priest and a pedo nothing they both like kids.
What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit? A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.
What would you throw between a priest and a nun? A bottle of whiskey.
I heard there was a kidnapping.
Don't worry, he woke up in the back of a van.
It was his father's friend who was a priest.
He was just bringing him to church.
A guy asks his priest friend what he wants to eat, and the priest says "bad boys." Then his friend asks, "What kebab do you want?" and the priest says, "B Bricked up Caucasian or Asian will do."
If you got a priest, a Rhodes scholar, and a politician in a room, what would you get?
The Royal Commission.
Alternatively, Tony Abbott.
Why are people suspicious when a priest yells "Attention Kmart shoppers"?
Boy's pants are half off.
A guy was dying after getting stabbed in a church. He said to the priest, "Please say a prayer for me," and the priest said, "I ain’t got nun left." Then he died.
What has 2 legs and loves to play with little kids? The local priest.
I love going to church to get closer to God, but my least favorite part of church has to be touching the priest’s penis.
Why was there a box in a church? Because there was a funeral.
What's the difference between a priest and McDonald's? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
Man: I must confess, Father.
Priest: What are you here to confess?
Man: I hit my wife and blamed her for what happened to our son.
Priest: And what happened to your son?
Man: He said a man raped him.
Priest: When and where did this happen?
Man: A local church. I don't know which one.
Priest: ...By whom?
Man: A priest, he said. He said the priest had black hair and blue eyes, kind of like you.
Priest: ...Shit
What do McDonald's and priests have in common?
They both shove their meat into 10-year-old buns.
