New Prettiness Jokes - Page 8

I was taking a walk near the prison when I saw a good looking guy climbing down the fence, and when he noticed me, he gave me a sneer! It was pretty condescending.

Did you know that a lot of graves are put in churchyards?

Yeah, they're pretty holey.

I think if the center of the earth froze, it would be pretty hard core.

Me: "Hey, you trashy pig woman, go in the toilet or lay on the grass where you belong."

Trashy pig woman: "Why?"

Because you smell like fart, and you're pretty much just a turd with lips.

Your grandma is pretty old; she'll die soon.

I was pretty tight friends with my butt plug. But then we had a falling-out.

To you, Iron Man may seem cool or awesome, but to me, he is pretty ironic.

A guy in a Costco was pretty pissed off at something. A guy walks up to him and says, "What's wrong, pal? Don't worry, it's not like you're on an abandoned aisle!"

"Um, honey, I'm glad you're done, but um, WHO KICKED OUR BABY'S ASS?! I'M PRETTY SURE FACES DON'T BEND THAT WAY!!"

A couple of cows were smoking a joint and playing cards...

The steaks were pretty high.

So I was at the store and I saw a pretty woman, and I said, "Hi."

Quickly, she said, "I am not interested. I have a husband."

And when I saw the woman again, she said, "I need help."

I said, "No, call your husband!" KARMA. 😂😜

One day a guy named Carson is called a jerk, and he says, "I went to a party with my girlfriend, and this random guy walks up to us and says, 'Can I borrow your girlfriend for 30 minutes?' I say yes, and he takes her upstairs. It was not only 30 minutes, but an hour. When she came back down, she was out of breath, so I knew it was a pretty intense conversation." This happens about 3 more times that night.

But as I was saying, only a nice guy would let his girlfriend make friends with other guys. 😊😇