I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.
My aunt's star sign was cancer, pretty ironic how she died. -- She was eaten by a giant crab.
Imagine if hitting the iceberg wasn't an accident and it was all just the sailors fault like this: Sailor 1: Hey Ron. Sailor 2: yeah? Sailor 1: you see that iceberg over there? Sailor 2: yeah. Sailor 1: you know what would be pretty funny
Wanna hear a terrible Joke?
Paper
Pretty tear-able, huh?
Mexican jokes and black jokes are pretty much the same. Once you heard Juan you've heard Jamal.
Girlfriend: am I pretty or ugly?
Boyfriend: your both!
Girlfriend: what do you mean by that?
Boyfriend: your pretty ugly!!!
I had recently found out that my grandma died. We did an autopsy and the results came back. They were pretty shocking.
We found out that she died............... from an autopsy
Q: What is the difference between a stripper and a bungee cord?
A: It is cheap fast, and if the rubber breaks, your pretty much screwed.
My friend gave me sugar for my birthday, she thought it was cheap I thought it was pretty sweet
Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it... at least Jesus didn't get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.
Dad. Son who do you want to marry when you grow up? Son. A ugly girl. Dad. Why not a pretty girl? Son. A pretty one might run away. Dad. So and ugly one might to. Son. Yeah but who cares.
I heard a joke about heavy metal earlier. It was pretty ironic.
did you hear about the light bulb party--- yeah it was pretty lit!
Blue: The ocean is place where the creatures live Black: NIGHTMARES LIVE Blue:it has many pretty things and it will- Black: KILL YA TO DEATH! Especially if you are on titanic! so let that sink in. PUN INTENDED!
when Ted Bundy found out he was getting the death penalty he was pretty shocked...
Guy starts chatting to pretty woman at a party Seeing that she didn't back off he asked her name. "Carmen," she replied. That's a nice name," he said warming up the conversation,
"Who named you, your mother?"
"No, I named myself, she answered.
"Oh, that's interesting. Why Carmen?"
"Because I like cars, and I like men," she said looking directly into his eyes. "So what's your name?" she asked.
‘BJ Titsngolf’
I went on a walk with a super pretty girl, then she saw me and it turned into a run.
I know you don't like me, and that implies you need better taste.
I'm no an astronomer, but I'm pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun... not you.
I'd give you a nasty look, but it seems like you've already got one.
Your birth certificate should be rewritten as a letter of apology
You haven't changed since the last time I saw you. You really should.
I'm pretty sure that 9/11 was the biggest game of Jenga ever recorded in history
I was on the Oregon trail with my friend's brother carl. he got cholera, so we threw him off the wagon. when we came back, he was having a seizure and pooping uncontrollably. it was pretty cholerious.
