Whife jokes

Porn

My wife caught me one day for watching a porn channel, so I quickly turned the TV to a fishing channel. On her way out, she said: "You should stay on the porn channel. You know how to fish!"

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  • Sex

    Husband: Honey, do you want sex?

    Wife: No, thanks, I have a headache.

    Husband: Is that your final answer?

    Wife: Mmmmm.

    Husband: Are you sure?

    Wife: Yes.

    Husband: No doubts?

    Wife: No.

    Husband staring a long time at his wife.

    Husband: Okay, I wanna use my lifeline to call a friend.

    Wife

    Your wife dumped you because you are so poor and you are so ugly. You also live under a rock and have no money. You got dumped so hard you can't remember you got dumped.

    Girlfriend

    What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?

    One is hairy and smells like fish, and the other is a walrus. You're welcome.

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  • Paycheck

    What's the difference between a paycheck and your penis?

    You don't have to beg your wife to blow up the paycheck.

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