Pop culture jokes
Tomorrow is Christmas, and I'm giving myself a present that I can't wait to open. It's my wrist. (Yes, this was inspired by a Fall Out Boy song.)
A fact! I think I'm officially a poo-buster, as the plunger does look like the weapon in "Ghostbusters"!
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong?
Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, and Michael Jackson screwed little boys.
Where did Michael Jackson go to college?
Bring 'em young.
Why did you always see Michael Jackson wearing two white gloves?
Because masturbation is against Michael Jackson's religious beliefs.
Mom: You can't die in the living room, David, so you can stop stabbing and shooting yourself.
David: I will surpass Kakarot!
Jordan: *dead on the living room floor*
What's yellow and smells of Marge? Homer Simpson's fingers!
Yo mama so fat that when Thanos tried to snap her out of the world, he couldn't do it, so instead, he clapped her out of the world.
How do you know Thor has your back?
He's an Asgardian (ass guardian).
Mom: I saw John Cena at WWE.
Son: No way, you can’t see him though.
Mom: God!
Son: What?
Mom: You watch too much reality TV (comes to smack butt).
Son: Also because I’m John Cena.
Mom: Where, where’d ya go?
John Cena: Hey, Mom.
Mom: I’m only 31, you’re 42.
Q. What did one Iron atom say to the other Iron atom?
A. "We're in the Matrix."
Are you a wild girl, cause I want to catch you with my pokeballs?
What is a superhero’s 🦸♀️ favorite drink?
Fruit punch!
Who is Santa's favorite singer?
Elf-is Presley!
Chuck Norris once did a roundhouse kick... and successfully completed the bottle cap challenge.
Angelina Jolie was married to Brad Pitt...
Does that make her a "Brad Nailer", and him a "Jolie Jumper"?
Chuck Norris and Medusa had a staring contest. Medusa turned to stone.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?
One's made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with, the other one carries your shopping.
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Doctor."
"Doctor who?"
"Doctor Who."
Chuck Norris once stared a basilisk in the eye, and it DIED!