Pop culture jokes

Chuck Norris doesn't play video games. Video games play Chuck Norris.

What's the difference between a shopping bag and Michael Jackson?

One is white, made of plastic, and dangerous for children. The other is for groceries.

Michael Jackson, who's terrified of adult women, once had a girlfriend, but broke it off with her. When she asked him why, he said, "It's not you, it's me-hee-hee."

Michael Jackson was on a boat with a bunch of children. The boat captain comes up to him and says, "Michael, we've come into some trouble and the boat is about to sink. We need to get off the boat right now." "But what about the children?" The captain said, "F*** them." Michael Jackson responded, "Is there enough time?"

Q. What does Michael Jackson get his sex partners as a gift?

A. Crayons.

What are Michael Jackson's favorite sodas? Yoo-hoo-hoo and Mountain Dew-hoo-hoo. What cola company should people get to keep him at bay? Pep-see-hee.

Why does Michael Jackson avoid Pepsi? They gave him a hot one.

What does Michael Jackson say when he gets hard? Ow!

Michael Jackson was the King of Pop until he got burned by Pepsi. Now, Pepsi is the hero, and now, we know the rest of the story.

What do Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?

Little boys turn them on.

What do you call a man in a wheelchair with no legs?

Geo dude.

What is Michael Jackson's favorite fruit?

Boisenberry.

*walks in store* OH LITTle debhehe's!

Q. What's Jeffery Dahmer's favorite song?

A. "Pieces of You."

It insists upon itself, Lois, it insists upon itself.

Trump: Caillou, can you please stop whining? That squirrel didn’t just eat our pizza, he also ditched your dad, and he’s your stepdad now.

Caillou: Why I’m bald, Trumpy?

Trump: I don’t know, but what I do know is that you’re a massive shit stain.

What’s someone with AIDS' favorite Taylor Swift song?

"Baby, now we got bad blood."

What did the Pokémon say after having sex?

"My ball was sore!"

What do Drake and math have in common? They’re both hard for kids.

What did Chris Brown say the first time he saw Rihanna?

I’d hit that.