It insists upon itself, Lois, it insists upon itself.
Trump: Caillou, can you please stop whining? That squirrel didn’t just eat our pizza, he also ditched your dad, and he’s your stepdad now.
Caillou: Why I’m bald, Trumpy?
Trump: I don’t know, but what I do know is that you’re a massive shit stain.
What’s someone with AIDS' favorite Taylor Swift song?
"Baby, now we got bad blood."
What did the Pokémon say after having sex?
"My ball was sore!"
What do Drake and math have in common? They’re both hard for kids.
What did Chris Brown say the first time he saw Rihanna?
I’d hit that.
What is the difference between the Twin Towers and Elton John?
Elton John is still standing.
Kelly Clarkson wants to be Rosie O'Donnell so badly. Too bad Kelly is the "Queen of Incest" and not the "Queen of Nice".
(And Kelly came from a sundown town in the Deep South, and not from Long Island.)
Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
How is slavery different from Pokémon?
The types you can have.
Osama Bin Laden was trying to give me relationship advice.
Probably wasn't the best time to say "OK Boomer."
When you reconstruct Michael Jackson and Lil Nas X to wreak havoc on preschool.
What's the toughest stain to wash off a little boy's underpants?
Michael Jackson's lipstick.
Used to laugh at Michael Jackson for wearing gloves and a mask...
Yet here I am, stuck at home in this COVID-19 "Thriller," beating it...
I am the Lorax. I speak for trees. I have the high ground, and I will cut off your knees.
Your mama so ugly that even Rick Astley had to give her up.
I'm shocked that Kanye West never tried to get Carrie Underwood's number after Carrie starred in a pro-Aryan ad for Almay.
That time when you realize that Osama bin Laden and Carrie Underwood share the same birthday...
Radiohead had to remake "Fake Plastic Trees" after encountering Carrie Underwood in real life for the first time.
What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite poker hand?
Jacks and 5.
