Politics jokes
I can’t remember if I already said this or not. I might have already said this. Also, this is a true story.
So, I’m walking into a store in Amish country, and there’s this guy with a bear trap. Then my mom’s friend says, "This guy’s gonna catch some bears." Then the Amish guy stops, looks around, and whispers, “It’s for democrats.”
"It's not a war crime if you invade a country with oil."
-Sun Tzu, Art of War
Qassem Soleimani is so popular today.
I mean, he just blew up overnight!
What do you call a guy that lies a lot?
The president.
What did Rob O'Neill say before he shot Osama Bin Laden between the eyes?
"Go to HELLakbar!"
Memes
Biden and Trump.
That's it. That's the joke.
How many times did Rob O'Neill shoot Bin Laden? 911 times.
What is the difference between Obama and Osama?
Osama didn't kill innocent civilians with missile strikes.
When Hitler killed himself, he shot himself twice. The first one was Operation Barbarossa, and the second one was his death.
Bush is innocent, he's white...
Being pro-life.
How many times was Osama bin Laden shot?
911 times.
What's Osama Bin Laden's favorite song currently?
"Under the Sea" by The Little Mermaid!
Bin Laden's relatives died in a plane crash on 8/1. 🤣🤣🤣
In the year 2020, who were the biggest enemies?
Coronavirus and toilet paper.
Why is Bill the bad guy?
Monica wanted to suck dick.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Alexander Boris de Pfeffel had wine and cheese while your loved ones died in the ICU.
Your mom's so fat, she annexed Crimea!
Yo mama so fat, Donald Trump built a wall around her.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Tory shirts step in doodoo.