Politics jokes
Bro, the US keeps bullying the UK because the queen died, and do you know the meme "No Bitches?" Yeah, they put "No Queen" instead. And guess what? The UK replied this time and said, "No Towers?" I was shocked. UK's most devious lick.
What do you call a Communist sniper? -- A Marxman.
The teacher asks, "Who is a Trump fan?" Everyone in the class, wanting to be liked by their teacher, all put their hands up, except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks, "Little Johnny, why are you being different again?" Little Johnny says, "Because I'm not a Trump fan." The teacher asks, "Why are you not a Trump fan?" and Little Johnny says, "Because my dad's a democrat and my mum's a democrat so I'm a democrat." And then his teacher says, "So if your dad was an idiot and your mum was a moron, what would that make you?" And Little Johnny replies, "A Trump fan."
Hitler only wanted peace.
A piece of Poland, a piece of Czechoslovakia, and a piece of Turkey.
Who were the greenest Presidents in US history? The Bushes.
Voting is like doing a group project in school.
I did my part, but I’m worried the rest of you are going to fuck this up.
Random person: We are taking away your freedoms to keep you safe.
Hitla: That's exactly what I said.
I think Abraham Lincoln was gay because a guy shot from behind.
What is black and white and red all over? JFK
"Jingle bells, Osama smells."
Donald Trump travels back in time to talk to his 10-year-old self.
When he sees himself, he says, "Do you see me? I am you, but almost 70 years older."
His 10-year-old self asks him, "Am I going to be famous?"
Trump replies, "Oh yeah, I became president of the United States. Not once. Twice!"
10-year-old Donald was shocked. But he became even more shocked when he heard the next sentence from his current self: "And now take off your pants!"
Why don’t Mexicans have an Olympic team? Because everyone who can run, jump, and swim are in the USA.
What do you call a German that can't see? A Notsee.
What's the difference between MetaCareForAll and the resurrection of our lord and savior Jesus Christ?
One of them is an unrealistic fantasy that can never come true because it wouldn't work. The other one is the resurrection our lord and savior Jesus Christ.
Asking for a friend, could anyone please tell me how to politely ask a question for a friend?
Where does Bin Laden keep his CDs?
In Iraq.
Trump cheated so much he cheated himself out of an election!
In light of Trump's slurring, staggering, and incoherence, I wondered if he should get checked for a brain tumor.
Then I realized how ridiculous that sounded.
A tumor can't grow in something that doesn't exist in the first place.
Trump plays Fortnite for walls.
What was Hitler known for?
His exceptional cost efficiency.