Politics jokes
I can’t take credit for this joke; it’s not mine.
Remember that time Joe Biden fell off his bike? He said it’s not his fault. He blamed the tires for being too inflated.
What is the difference between the government and organized crime?
Only one of them is organized.
Donald Trump will return to Twitter.
Who are cats going to vote for in November? Hillary Kitten.
In America, you find Waldo.
In Soviet Russia, Waldo finds you.
Person: So you know that person's name you say when you make a hoop, well he's dead.
Friend: Yeah, John Wilkes Booth.
Person: How dare you say that he killed Abraham Lincoln?
Friend: Terrible guy but he never missed a shot!
If only Caesar hadn’t left home that day...
Here via westwingman.net from Veep!
What's George Floyd's newest song?
"I can't breathe."
Q: How do you know when Putin is lying?
A: His lips move.
What was Osama bin Laden's favorite drink?
A double Manhattan.
What do you call a dictatorial cow?
Moosilini.
Q. What do you call anal sex with a politician?
A. A backroom deal.
Question; Why do they call Melania Trump the "Walk-In" Freezer?
Answer; Because it's where everyone goes to "Hang Their Meat"!
What’s the difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?
Nothing; no one cares how much lead is in the kids.
Why are Democrats represented by the donkey? Because some Democrats can be such an ass!
Roses are red, violets are blue, Tory shirts step in doodoo.
If Pete and Chasten Buttigieg had a baby, it would be a turd covered in semen.
Is she saying, "Watch for red flags because he's toxic," or is he socialist?
Roses are red, violets are blue, Mike Pence's hair is made of glue.