Politics jokes
We used to have Reagan, Jonny Cash, and Bob Hope. Now we have Biden, no cash, and no hope.
Who killed Hitler goes to Heaven.
*looks up*
Oh, never mind.
There hasn’t been 3 months of peace in this country since 2019. Jesus, take the wheel.
Did you know that former Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison was a firefighter? He got fired for trying to fight a fire with tickets to Hawaii.
The Pope and Donald Trump are on stage in front of a huge crowd.
The Pope leaned towards Trump and said, “Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives. Whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!”
Trump replies, “I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!”
So the Pope slapped him.
This Native American won't stop talking bad about me, so I said, "Please stop acting like you first discovered this land belonged to your ancestors!"
What is orange and will soon be wearing prison orange? Trump.
I'm Canadian, and I admit we've done some stupid things. But we've never given nuclear launch codes to a literal retard.
You know how Joe Biden is happy?
When he is rubbing a little girls' shoulders and eating ice cream.
Why is America so bad at chess?
They lost both of their towers.
What do you call a blind German?
A Nazi (not see).
Why did the orphan kill himself when he found out who his dad was? Because he found out his dad was Donald Trump.
I was talking to a close friend that was Islamic.
He said he was being shipped to an amazing training.
I asked, "Where are you going?"
He said, "Camp Bin Laden."
I asked, "What do they do there?"
He answered, "They got bomb training and hand to hand combat training. Plus they got arts and crafts."
I asked, "What do you mean by arts and crafts?"
He said, "See this towel on my head?" I nodded. "I made it out of boxer jokes."
Why does Trump build a wall?
There’s such a thing as a ladder.
In the year 2020, who were the biggest enemies?
Coronavirus and toilet paper.
What is the difference between an Isis training camp and a school?
Not sure, I just fly the drone.
Eastern Europe and Western Europe is a joke.
Hillary Clinton could be the first F president ever elected into office.
Sorry, it was supposed to say "Female," but the "emale" got deleted.
Why can't Chinese do anything? The government won't let them.
"Proud Boys? More like proud snitches!"