What does Donald Trump say when he declares war? Nuke them.
What does a pervert say when he declares war? Nude them.
A Russian wife turned to her husband and asked...
"What's this special military operation our glorious leader keeps talking about?"
Her husband replied, "It's a proxy war between Russia and NATO."
"Oh, right. How's it going?"
"Well," he replied, "so far we've lost 200,000 soldiers, 4,000 tanks, 500 aircraft, numerous helicopters, loads of armoured vehicles and artillery pieces along with our 'flag ship'."
"Wow! What about NATO?"
"They haven't turned up yet."
What's the difference between a government and a pawn shop?
They lower you.
Who's Hitler's best friend? Nazis me.
How does Hitler tie his shoes?
Into little Nazis.
What did the trumpet say to Trump?
"Hi, fellow trumpet!"
Why did the Democrats act like an asshole when Rush Limbaugh was alive?
Because they fear him.
JFK
Half is definitely a bottom.
What's the only type of abortion Republicans will never do anything to prevent?
A school shooting.
Ukraine.
If Republicans really wanted to enact pro-life legislation, they would ban guns, not abortion.
What do you get if you cross Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama? A blonde n1gger cunt.
ICE and ISIS have similar first syllables. Coincidence? I think not!
My friend is blind.
So he always says he cannot Nazi.
How do you become with NATO? Promise no more world wars by secretly performing military practices behind their back.
Jackie gives better head than Marilyn.
Iran? More like tin can, cause we’re going to kick their teeth in, am I right?
You're so ugly that you and Adolfo Hitler are like twins.
Donald Trump is still the president, even after the government has been shut down.
A retired George W. Bush is eating a donut at 7/11 and looks at it. "I'm so happy I did that." A guy overhears the conversation and says, "You're happy you bought that donut? Oh haha, I would be too. I love donuts!" George W. Bush then says, "Oh hahaha, you caught me," and then says, "Oh hahaha, you must have heard me wrong. I said, I'm so happy I did 9/11."
