Politics jokes
In order to get $355 million for his civil fraud case, Donald Trump desperately needed to fundraise. So, in every Republican Party event, he will serve the Patriotic Trump Dog! It consists of an 80-year-old sausage inside a 10-year-old cream bun, topped with Russian dressing.
Trump does have the best people, doesn't he?
If Pete and Chasten Buttigieg had a baby, it would be a turd covered in semen.
Why does Joe Biden like cold weather? Because he’s used to being in the teens.
If only Caesar hadn’t left home that day...
Why did Hitler get hit by a baseball? Because he did nazi it coming!
Why did the Twin Towers fall exactly at 9/11?
Because the terrorists thought that it would be fun to call 911 as a "prank."
Why does Joe only have 264 days in his calendar?
Because he can't celebrate Father's Day.
What do British politics and transgender people have in common?
Both aren't what they used to be...
North Korea?
What is the difference between the government and organized crime?
Only one of them is organized.
Trump likes to grab 'em by the pussy. Putin likes to grab them by their tiny hands.
Why didn't Donald Trump build the wall?
Because Mexicans did not and would not build the damn wall!
What does a Right-Winger say when he sees a rainbow above the sky?
"A colorful sky? That's too woke for me. Jesus and our ancestors would have never stood for this!"
Q: What is Hitler's least favorite grocery store?
A: Jew-Osco
You can’t say “dwarf” anymore; you have to say “little people”.
You can’t say “fat”; you have to say “plus size”.
You can’t say “retard”; you have to say “democrat”.
What do you call a blind German? Someone who can't Nazi!
What do you call a Democrat that is a progressive?
A Democrat that lost in a presidential election.
I'd love it if you killed yourself, but Hitler killed himself and people still hate him…
Once I went to a museum and overheard someone speaking to an employee for information.
"These are lying clocks; they tell how many lies a person tells."
"Oh, cool."
"This is Mother Teresa's clock; the clock hasn't moved because she never lied."
"Makes sense."
"This is Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands only moved twice, indicating he only lied twice."
"Where's Trump's clock?"
"Oh, we're using it as a ceiling fan."
And then I burst out laughing 'cause it's so true.
What's Hitler's favorite letter? Not Z.