Politics jokes
Putin be like CSGO is much harder in real life!
Thomas Jefferson’s 80th b-day bash be like:
Jackson: "CALHOUN! YOU’RE CHEATING ON ME - IN BED WITH THE CONSTITUTION??"
Welcome to Joe's abortion clinic! No fetus can beat us! You make 'em, we take 'em!
You know Thomas Paine, right? Well, clearly he had some common sense too, right?
Well, we've removed all of the excess fat from your body, and all that's left, I'm afraid, is the wig, Mrs. Trump.
Memes
Well on the positive side: the Mexicans will probably want to pay for, and build, that wall at this point! Maybe the Canadians as well; two free walls!
Yo mama so American, she deported Dora the Explorer!
Voting is like doing a group project in school.
I did my part, but I’m worried the rest of you are going to fuck this up.
JFK and Abe Lincoln were some of the most open-minded presidents ever.
Hillary Clinton could be the first F president ever elected into office.
Sorry, it was supposed to say "Female," but the "emale" got deleted.
My sister is so stupid, she thought LBJ was Spanish for blowjob.
The general proofreading Hitler's speeches was the original Grammar Nazi.
Women’s rights.
Donald Trump is making hospitals so poor that they are using kidney beans for their transplants.
I've come to the conclusion that Trump is the fifth Teletubby.
He's fat, orange, and speaks in gibberish all the time.
Yo mama is so classless, she could be a Marxist utopia.
Q: What is Hitler's least favorite grocery store?
A: Jew-Osco
I went to kill Biden with poison water and mixed it with my finger, and then licked it. I passed out, and now I'm here.
Why does Japan not allow little boys to run?
Because the last time a little boy came, Japan lost a state.
What do you get when you put an ape's brain in a gorilla? A feminist!