Politics jokes
Why are Democrats represented by the donkey? Because some Democrats can be such an ass!
If Pete and Chasten Buttigieg had a baby, it would be a turd covered in semen.
Did you hear they just took Biden to the hospital?
No, what happened?
He couldn’t stop pootin!
If only Caesar hadn’t left home that day...
Trump likes to grab 'em by the pussy. Putin likes to grab them by their tiny hands.
What is the difference between the government and organized crime?
Only one of them is organized.
Why didn't Donald Trump build the wall?
Because Mexicans did not and would not build the damn wall!
I'm going to pull out your lungs faster than Joe Biden pulled troops out of Afghanistan.
I don't even know why to joke about America, it's a joke itself TO THE FUCKING EARTH!
Conservatives hate Barack Obama and transgender people for the same exact reason.
They hate change.
A Russian wedding should be called a Soviet Union.
Once I saw a retard and an Alberta separatist having a conversation.
Well, actually, it was just the Alberta separatist talking to himself.
Q: What is Hitler's least favorite grocery store?
A: Jew-Osco
Trump: Caillou, can you please stop whining? That squirrel didn’t just eat our pizza, he also ditched your dad, and he’s your stepdad now.
Caillou: Why I’m bald, Trumpy?
Trump: I don’t know, but what I do know is that you’re a massive shit stain.
This is American politics that is not true.
I want to run. I go Iran, because I RAN, not IRAN, because it’s an Iran joke about the country, not the movement.
Hitler was talking about how to fight in WW2 when someone sneezed while Hitler was giving a speech, so Hitler yelled, "WHO SNEEZED ROW 1? DID ANYONE SNEEZE?" They said no, and Hitler shot everybody. Same for row 2 & 3, but in row 4 someone nervous said, "Me, I'm sorry." Then Hitler said, "Bless you."
The Trump family are flying from New York to DC when Donald looks down on the cities below.
Trump: "I think I’ll throw a $1000 bill out the window and make some American happy."
Melania: "Oh honey, why not throw ten $100 bills out the window and make ten Americans happy?"
Ivanka: "Even better daddy, throw 100 ten dollar bills out the window and make 100 people happy."
Pilot: "Why don’t you all jump out the window and make the whole country happy?"
How many communists does it take to change a lightbulb? Never enough.
What do the twin towers and genders have in common? They used to be two, but now they're a sensitive subject.