Politics jokes

Q: Why are most Americans bad at chess?

A: Because they lost their Twin Towers.

Do you know Biden?

Biden on these nuts.

Dude, all Hitler asked for was a glass of juice, but everyone misheard him.

Imagine if Joe Biden was elected for a second term.

He would be the first president to be assassinated by a slick bathtub.

Why should China be a baseball team?

Because they can take out the entire world with just one bat!

Do you know why I finger women with my left hand?

Because they don’t deserve rights!

Why didn't Trump help someone who can't walk?

He thinks she should stand up for herself.

You know Thomas Paine, right? Well, clearly he had some common sense too, right?

Well, we've removed all of the excess fat from your body, and all that's left, I'm afraid, is the wig, Mrs. Trump.

Well on the positive side: the Mexicans will probably want to pay for, and build, that wall at this point! Maybe the Canadians as well; two free walls!

Yo mama so American, she deported Dora the Explorer!

What's the difference between Palestine and yo mama?

Yo mama can be found on Google maps.

Hillary Clinton could be the first F president ever elected into office.

Sorry, it was supposed to say "Female," but the "emale" got deleted.

JFK and Abe Lincoln were some of the most open-minded presidents ever.

They say Trump got impeached, but he is an orange.

The general proofreading Hitler's speeches was the original Grammar Nazi.

If Joe Biden was on stage and he heard gunshots, he probably would’ve thought it was the ice cream truck.

Why'd Biden get fired from the supermarket?

He kept telling little kids they smell like freshly baked bread.

My sister is so stupid, she thought LBJ was Spanish for blowjob.

Voting is like doing a group project in school.

I did my part, but I’m worried the rest of you are going to fuck this up.