Politics jokes
Just because you have a career in the North doesn't mean you are North Korean.
I got kicked out of a library for putting a book about women's rights in the fantasy section.
Why do they call it America when literally nothing is free?
So, unfortunately, I got kicked out of the library again because, for some reason, they say that books on women's rights don't go in the fantasy section.
I don't get why it is called abortion instead of murder.
Consent before sex is a joke. It's just politically correct feminazi propaganda.
What do you call a country with nukes?
Abomination.
If the red house is on the left, and the blue house on the right, where is the white house?
In Washington D.C.
Yo mama so fat Trump built a wall around her and not the border.
Trump likes to grab 'em by the pussy. Putin likes to grab them by their tiny hands.
North Korea?
My name is Jafar. I come from afar. There's a bomb in my car. Allahu Akbar!
Why do US suck at chess? We lost both our towers.
Why is England so good at chess? They still have their queen.
Why does Russia suck at chess? They only have pawns.
He only won the election because of rigging.
82 million votes my ass.
Ask me for proof.
Anyone got any good Floyd jokes? I really need them to take my breath away.
What's Trump's favorite instrument?
A TRUMPet!!!
A boy asks his father:
"What is politics?"
Father answers:
"It’s very simple! You see, I bring in the money, so I’m big business. Your mother spends the money, so she’s the government.
Your grandfather sees to it that everything is managed in an orderly way. So he’s the law.
Our maid is the working class.
Everything revolves around your interests, so you’re the people. Your little baby brother represents the future."
The boy has to think it over. That night he hears his little brother crying due to a dirty diaper. He doesn’t know what to do, so he goes to the bedroom of his parents. There his mother is sound asleep. He goes to the bedroom of the maid, but his father is there fucking the maid — and oddly enough his grandfather is watching through the window.
Nobody notices the boy and he returns to his bed.
The next day his father asks him:
"So, can you now explain to me what politics is?"
The boy says:
"Yes, it’s all become clear to me!
Big business screws over the working class while the law watches and the government sleeps. The people are ignored and the future lies in shit."
Vladimir Putin is probably a homophobe because he has to go through life with the name of a gay porn star.
Somebody told me to go to hell, so I walked up to Donald Trump.
If you mixed the Iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad, what would you get?
Tony Abbott's career.