Politics jokes
What do you call a country with nukes?
Abomination.
I don't get why it is called abortion instead of murder.
Yo mama so fat Trump built a wall around her and not the border.
My name is Jafar. I come from afar. There's a bomb in my car. Allahu Akbar!
Trump likes to grab 'em by the pussy. Putin likes to grab them by their tiny hands.
Memes
North Korea?
He only won the election because of rigging.
82 million votes my ass.
Ask me for proof.
Anyone got any good Floyd jokes? I really need them to take my breath away.
What's Trump's favorite instrument?
A TRUMPet!!!
A boy asks his father:
"What is politics?"
Father answers:
"It’s very simple! You see, I bring in the money, so I’m big business. Your mother spends the money, so she’s the government.
Your grandfather sees to it that everything is managed in an orderly way. So he’s the law.
Our maid is the working class.
Everything revolves around your interests, so you’re the people. Your little baby brother represents the future."
The boy has to think it over. That night he hears his little brother crying due to a dirty diaper. He doesn’t know what to do, so he goes to the bedroom of his parents. There his mother is sound asleep. He goes to the bedroom of the maid, but his father is there fucking the maid — and oddly enough his grandfather is watching through the window.
Nobody notices the boy and he returns to his bed.
The next day his father asks him:
"So, can you now explain to me what politics is?"
The boy says:
"Yes, it’s all become clear to me!
Big business screws over the working class while the law watches and the government sleeps. The people are ignored and the future lies in shit."
Somebody told me to go to hell, so I walked up to Donald Trump.
Q. What do you call anal sex with a politician?
A. A backroom deal.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A prostitute will stop screwing you when you run out of money.
The reason they attacked the towers is because the terrorists thought the towers were giant middle fingers pointed at them. What silly saudis!
Why does Adolf hate golf?
He ended up in the bunker.
What is the difference between Hitler and Usain Bolt?
Usain Bolt can finish a race.
I find it interesting that if you rearrange the letters in the word “Mother-in-law” you get the words “Woman Hitler”.
Whoever kills Hitler goes to heaven.
Oh, wait... never mind...
If you think of a president as your king, then the USA got checkmated on November 22nd, 1963.
Yo mama so fat that the US (Mexico) and North Korea (South Korea) got into a war fighting over who gets to use her as their border wall.