Politics jokes

"Why do people call Americans excessive?"

"It was probably because of WWII."

"Oh, you mean the war where America responded to the destruction of several ships and a harbor and the deaths of a little over a thousand by completely flattening two cities and killing hundreds of thousands of people?"

Just because you have a career in the North doesn't mean you are North Korean.

What do you call the longest reigning monarch?

The queen? No, she dead.

What does BLM stand for?

Black Lust Matters.

Roses are red, the Jews hate goys,

Union of Creepy Janitors (UCJ) opposes school choice.

I don't get why it is called abortion instead of murder.

If the red house is on the left, and the blue house on the right, where is the white house?

In Washington D.C.

What do you call a country with nukes?

Abomination.

I got kicked out of a library for putting a book about women's rights in the fantasy section.

Why do they call it America when literally nothing is free?

So, unfortunately, I got kicked out of the library again because, for some reason, they say that books on women's rights don't go in the fantasy section.

Consent before sex is a joke. It's just politically correct feminazi propaganda.

Fuck Jewkraine!

What did Hitler say to Stan after he died?

I did nazi that coming!

What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A Democrat will keep screwing you when you run out of money.

ICE and ISIS have similar first syllables. Coincidence? I think not!

What kind of trumpet are you playing?

An "Donald Trumpet"!

Donald Trump didn't build a wall because he likes going to islands to touch little girls.

Yo mama so fat Trump built a wall around her and not the border.

My name is Jafar. I come from afar. There's a bomb in my car. Allahu Akbar!