Politics jokes

What does Matthew McConaughey say at the Republican convention...

We're gonna take back what is ours, alt right, alt right, alt right, hee heeeee...

Joe Biden doesn’t follow his own f**king mask mandate.

"Why do people call Americans excessive?"

"It was probably because of WWII."

"Oh, you mean the war where America responded to the destruction of several ships and a harbor and the deaths of a little over a thousand by completely flattening two cities and killing hundreds of thousands of people?"

What do you call the longest reigning monarch?

The queen? No, she dead.

What does BLM stand for?

Black Lust Matters.

Just because you have a career in the North doesn't mean you are North Korean.

Donald Trump and Fanta both have some things in common.

They are both orange and were conceived from Nazis!

Fuck Jewkraine!

If the red house is on the left, and the blue house on the right, where is the white house?

In Washington D.C.

What do you call a country with nukes?

Abomination.

I got kicked out of a library for putting a book about women's rights in the fantasy section.

Why do they call it America when literally nothing is free?

So, unfortunately, I got kicked out of the library again because, for some reason, they say that books on women's rights don't go in the fantasy section.

I don't get why it is called abortion instead of murder.

Consent before sex is a joke. It's just politically correct feminazi propaganda.

Trump likes to grab 'em by the pussy. Putin likes to grab them by their tiny hands.

North Korea?

He only won the election because of rigging.

82 million votes my ass.

Ask me for proof.

Yo mama so fat Trump built a wall around her and not the border.

My name is Jafar. I come from afar. There's a bomb in my car. Allahu Akbar!